We'd gone out the other night and took my husband's truck, leaving my car for our son to drive home from class. After we finished our meeting and got home, I realized my keys weren't in my purse. I searched everywhere, then we searched the truck. I thought I may have left them in the restroom at the building where we had our meeting. We had to call the person with the key to come back and open it. No keys. Before we left again, we prayed to find my keys.
My husband suggested checking the school where we left the car. We headed across town to the college and searched the parking lot where I'd left the car. Then we slowly drove out of the parking lot and up to the road. Just down the road he saw them. I don't know how, but he saw them lying near the gutter in the road. I'd apparently left them on the car instead of putting them in my purse. They'd been run over and were banged up, but they are working fine.
When working on our monthly budget we ended up with a shortage. I was feeling anxious, but my husband calmly stated our affirmation - Money comes to us from sources known and unknown. And we prayed over the budget and for needs and wants to be met.
And they have been, in many ways. Extra jobs, bills less than budgeted, overtime. It's all working out.
The next one is something we learned from the movie, What the Bleep. Our reality is based on perception. What we perceive and what someone else perceives is different. So when my husband's work told him a few weeks ago they were cutting his hours to 24 or less, we refused to believe it. He told them that he was hired for 25 hours (he's been working 30) and that's what he wanted. They said they would discuss it and let it drop. Since then, he's been going to work as if nothing has changed. We just refuse to believe the hours are being cut and assuming he'll be working the 30 hours he's been working for two months.
How are your manifestations / affirmations coming true?
Showing posts with label law of attraction awareness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label law of attraction awareness. Show all posts
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Saturday, July 21, 2012
What the Bleep! Do We Know?
I'm watching What the Bleep!... with my husband, rented from Netflix. I've heard a lot about it from various LOA circles so figured I needed to go ahead and see what it was all about.
We still need to finish it. It's two and a half hours long, so that's a lot to get into an evening. Plus, we kept stopping the movie and discussing various aspects of it.
The movie stars Marlee Matlin (Children of a Lesser God, the L Word) as Amanda, a photographer who lives with a hippie type roommate who is very positive and outgoing. Amanda is going through a transformation after a painful breakup with her husband. Her story and the things she is experiencing is broken up with interviews with scientists, psychologists, and others.
The movie will definitely make you think and look at things from a new perspective. I especially love the parallel worlds. What is amazing though is that things that were thought of as science fiction even thirty years ago are being studied as real possibilities right now.
The movie can be hard to understand in places since Amanda's story keeps being broken up, but you can see how she is so close to a breakthrough in her personal life, close to breaking away from limiting beliefs and looking at possibilities in her life.
If you get a chance to watch the movie, go ahead and get it from Netflix (it was available for streaming too) and spend some time watching and discussing. It's refreshing to see that science is beginning to look honestly at things we used to think of as strictly spiritual and finding that they actually have a lot in common.
Have you seen What the Bleep? What did you think?
We still need to finish it. It's two and a half hours long, so that's a lot to get into an evening. Plus, we kept stopping the movie and discussing various aspects of it.
The movie stars Marlee Matlin (Children of a Lesser God, the L Word) as Amanda, a photographer who lives with a hippie type roommate who is very positive and outgoing. Amanda is going through a transformation after a painful breakup with her husband. Her story and the things she is experiencing is broken up with interviews with scientists, psychologists, and others.
The movie will definitely make you think and look at things from a new perspective. I especially love the parallel worlds. What is amazing though is that things that were thought of as science fiction even thirty years ago are being studied as real possibilities right now.
The movie can be hard to understand in places since Amanda's story keeps being broken up, but you can see how she is so close to a breakthrough in her personal life, close to breaking away from limiting beliefs and looking at possibilities in her life.
If you get a chance to watch the movie, go ahead and get it from Netflix (it was available for streaming too) and spend some time watching and discussing. It's refreshing to see that science is beginning to look honestly at things we used to think of as strictly spiritual and finding that they actually have a lot in common.
Have you seen What the Bleep? What did you think?
Friday, April 27, 2012
Use Your Anger
Too many times those of us who know about the Law of Attraction and positive thinking, especially those who resonate with Abraham Hicks, want to be in the vortex, want to feel good, want to have positive feelings. But when you don't have positive feelings, when you are angry, frustrated, upset, mad as hell - then what do you do?
Use them. Use your emotions. They are part of being human after all. Here are the steps I take to help get through a bad mood and get to the other side.
Name It and Claim It
The best way I've found to get out of a funk about something is to name it and claim it. Get it out there. Accept that you feel angry or frustrated or mad. And don't sugar coat it. Don't say you're "upset" when you're really mad-as-hell furious. Yell it out if you have to. But use those feelings and get to the other side of your bad mood. Use those feelings for positive change.
So name your feelings, out loud. "I am angry. I am frustrated. I am tired of feeling used. I am worn out. I am furious."
Say what you're angry or upset about. Be specific. Say it out loud. "I am tired of doing something and having it never be right. I am tired of not being listened to. I am tired of doing one thing and then having the rules changed on me."
Feel Your Feelings
Take a deep breath and really FEEL your feelings. Allow them to be there and allow yourself to feel them. There is nothing wrong with feeling what you feel. You DO NOT ever have to justify your feelings. You feel how you feel, period.
Determine What You Do Want, Not What You Don't Want
After a few deep breaths, think about what you DO want. You've spelled out what you don't want. You've named your feelings. Now, tell GUS (God, Universe, Spirit) what you do want. "I want to be listened to. I want to be taken seriously. I want to be appreciated. I believe I am doing my best."
Affirmations / Intentions
Say an affirmation - what do you want to actually happen. Because it can and it will. "I want Jack and Jill to listen to me, take my words seriously, and have a conversation where all sides are heard and respected." Finish by taking a few more deep breaths.
Repeat as Needed
Repeat throughout the day, as much as you need to. But if you really want to end your bad mood, your funk, you can't keep repeating it to yourself, your significant other, your best friend or your coworkers. You need to release it. Say your affirmations, breath deep, and release it.
Time Your Complaints
If you MUST let it out, then complain for 15 minutes only. You can do this for yourself or with a person that is compassionate and supportive. But stop at 15 minutes. And don't bring it up again. Doing that will only bring the bad feelings up again and you'll be right back in your mood.
Take Inspired Action
Now you can use that mood for some inspired action. Don't be an idiot, though, and quit your job, cheat on a spouse, file for divorce or yell at your kids. You want to do something positive with that energy, such as:
Fill out a job application somewhere else.
Write the outline to the novel you've always wanted to write.
Write out an email to the person you're mad at and then delete it - or send it to yourself and then delete it.
Go out to dinner.
Real Life - Determining What I Wanted and Inspired Action
Here is a real life example of using emotion to get something better.
Several years ago I took a job as a dishwasher. I did not like the job but it was a job and I needed the money. One day the general manager of the restaurant / club came through and said I was doing a good job, I could be promoted to cook. If that was a promotion, I thought, I don't want it. So that very day I went to the employment office next door - while still in my wet, smelly uniform - and applied for a job at the library down the street.
I got the job.
Moral of the Story
Use your emotions to determine what you really want. Don't hide from them.
Use them. Use your emotions. They are part of being human after all. Here are the steps I take to help get through a bad mood and get to the other side.
Name It and Claim It
The best way I've found to get out of a funk about something is to name it and claim it. Get it out there. Accept that you feel angry or frustrated or mad. And don't sugar coat it. Don't say you're "upset" when you're really mad-as-hell furious. Yell it out if you have to. But use those feelings and get to the other side of your bad mood. Use those feelings for positive change.
So name your feelings, out loud. "I am angry. I am frustrated. I am tired of feeling used. I am worn out. I am furious."
Say what you're angry or upset about. Be specific. Say it out loud. "I am tired of doing something and having it never be right. I am tired of not being listened to. I am tired of doing one thing and then having the rules changed on me."
Feel Your Feelings
Take a deep breath and really FEEL your feelings. Allow them to be there and allow yourself to feel them. There is nothing wrong with feeling what you feel. You DO NOT ever have to justify your feelings. You feel how you feel, period.
Determine What You Do Want, Not What You Don't Want
After a few deep breaths, think about what you DO want. You've spelled out what you don't want. You've named your feelings. Now, tell GUS (God, Universe, Spirit) what you do want. "I want to be listened to. I want to be taken seriously. I want to be appreciated. I believe I am doing my best."
Affirmations / Intentions
Say an affirmation - what do you want to actually happen. Because it can and it will. "I want Jack and Jill to listen to me, take my words seriously, and have a conversation where all sides are heard and respected." Finish by taking a few more deep breaths.
Repeat as Needed
Repeat throughout the day, as much as you need to. But if you really want to end your bad mood, your funk, you can't keep repeating it to yourself, your significant other, your best friend or your coworkers. You need to release it. Say your affirmations, breath deep, and release it.
Time Your Complaints
If you MUST let it out, then complain for 15 minutes only. You can do this for yourself or with a person that is compassionate and supportive. But stop at 15 minutes. And don't bring it up again. Doing that will only bring the bad feelings up again and you'll be right back in your mood.
Take Inspired Action
Now you can use that mood for some inspired action. Don't be an idiot, though, and quit your job, cheat on a spouse, file for divorce or yell at your kids. You want to do something positive with that energy, such as:
Fill out a job application somewhere else.
Write the outline to the novel you've always wanted to write.
Write out an email to the person you're mad at and then delete it - or send it to yourself and then delete it.
Go out to dinner.
Real Life - Determining What I Wanted and Inspired Action
Here is a real life example of using emotion to get something better.
Several years ago I took a job as a dishwasher. I did not like the job but it was a job and I needed the money. One day the general manager of the restaurant / club came through and said I was doing a good job, I could be promoted to cook. If that was a promotion, I thought, I don't want it. So that very day I went to the employment office next door - while still in my wet, smelly uniform - and applied for a job at the library down the street.
I got the job.
Moral of the Story
Use your emotions to determine what you really want. Don't hide from them.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
$100 Discount - Law of Attraction Awareness
One of the ways we're going to fulfill our dream of self employment / travel is by offering life coaching. We found a training program and last week I attended a webinar about the program, got some questions answered, general stuff. They also mentioned a special bonus and I was hoping they would announce a discount.
They didn't offer a discount except for the in-person training they offered. The bonus was something else. But I still enjoyed the webinar and I told my husband, "I was hoping they were going to offer $100 off the course. Wouldn't that have been wonderful?"
He agreed, since we had saved up just short of $100 for the course and had to wait till his next payday when an error in his vacation pay would be included.
Yesterday I got an email about another webinar and their spring discount on the course - $100 off, just in time for payday when we were going to pay for the course anyway at the regular price.
Thank you for the discount. We appreciate it very much.
They didn't offer a discount except for the in-person training they offered. The bonus was something else. But I still enjoyed the webinar and I told my husband, "I was hoping they were going to offer $100 off the course. Wouldn't that have been wonderful?"
He agreed, since we had saved up just short of $100 for the course and had to wait till his next payday when an error in his vacation pay would be included.
Yesterday I got an email about another webinar and their spring discount on the course - $100 off, just in time for payday when we were going to pay for the course anyway at the regular price.
Thank you for the discount. We appreciate it very much.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Universe telling me something?
So I posted the other day that today I decide to get healthy.
So what did I do today after my doctor's appointment for fasting blood work? I head to McDonald's. And the nice lady asks if I want the fruit and maple oatmeal. And I think, I really should. I mean I said I wanted to be healthy. But what did I actually do? I ordered the bacon, egg and cheese biscuit combo - but with a diet drink.
I picked up my order, paying almost $5 for the fat & carb filled goodness and headed to work.
I opened my bag and found ---
fruit and maple oatmeal.
Okay. You win.
But I need my $4.77 back. Or at least the difference in what I would have paid had I actually ordered the oatmeal instead.
Thanks a bunch.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Long Term Travel in the Works
A year ago when my husband and I divorced I had been expressing an idea to travel in an RV or travel trailer, workamping and living all over. It seems that this idea was the last straw for him. Or maybe one of the last straws.
After he left I knew that I had to put that particular idea on hold. It was still something I wanted to do and I was determined to do it on my own. But I still had a teenager at home with me and I had no money. I had to provide for my son and myself. So I manifested my job - complete with a higher hourly rate than I'd asked for, benefits and vacation time. I discovered law of attraction and positive thinking. I began to rebuild my confidence and self-esteem. I apologized to my then ex-husband, realizing that I'd been selfish for many years.
When we decided to get back together I thought I had to let go of my dream of extended travel. Even though we were better off financially together, we were still tied to traditional jobs. He wanted a house, a place for roots. I was just going to let it go, but that dream still stayed in the back of my mind.
I'd recently realized that I still had that dream and and I was under the false assumption that because we'd gotten re-married that I had to completely give it up. But why? I asked myself. Why? I'm a grown up. If I want to travel, I need to find a way to travel. I need to find a compromise.
My compromise was this. I would save enough to buy a used camper van. Then I would save enough for a trip, maybe a long term trip, two or three weeks or even a summer trip. This may take some time, but we could use the camper van locally on weekends. So how would I pay for it? Well, I have a job. I would save money from my job. I would save money from my transcription business. I was writing, submitting short stories to e-publishers. I could save some money from that. And I had my websites - this one and another one about transcription. I could earn money from these sites. And when I got to a certain point, I could share my ideas with hubby and compromise.
Now, how to get the extended time from work in order to do these treks? I decided to start looking for a job in the school system, something with summers off and regular breaks during the year. I thought if he could also get something with the school system, then that could be a perfect compromise. He would have the job security he wants, along with a house to have as a base, and we could travel during the summers.
I wrote out this plan and an affirmation and I prayed over it. I didn't want to be selfish like before. I just wanted my desires to happen too. I didn't want to give up any of my dreams simply because we'd remarried. But I didn't want any of the old arguments to come up either. So I prayed and affirmed that there would be no fighting over this.
Then I realized as well that I didn't necessarily have to compromise with him. I am an adult, and if I wanted to travel during the summers - alone or with a friend - I was perfectly capable. If I had the money, if the bills would be paid, if I had something for safety, then why not? Why compromise? So I decided that I was going to let go. I was going to make my dream come true.
(Continued in next post)
After he left I knew that I had to put that particular idea on hold. It was still something I wanted to do and I was determined to do it on my own. But I still had a teenager at home with me and I had no money. I had to provide for my son and myself. So I manifested my job - complete with a higher hourly rate than I'd asked for, benefits and vacation time. I discovered law of attraction and positive thinking. I began to rebuild my confidence and self-esteem. I apologized to my then ex-husband, realizing that I'd been selfish for many years.
When we decided to get back together I thought I had to let go of my dream of extended travel. Even though we were better off financially together, we were still tied to traditional jobs. He wanted a house, a place for roots. I was just going to let it go, but that dream still stayed in the back of my mind.
I'd recently realized that I still had that dream and and I was under the false assumption that because we'd gotten re-married that I had to completely give it up. But why? I asked myself. Why? I'm a grown up. If I want to travel, I need to find a way to travel. I need to find a compromise.
My compromise was this. I would save enough to buy a used camper van. Then I would save enough for a trip, maybe a long term trip, two or three weeks or even a summer trip. This may take some time, but we could use the camper van locally on weekends. So how would I pay for it? Well, I have a job. I would save money from my job. I would save money from my transcription business. I was writing, submitting short stories to e-publishers. I could save some money from that. And I had my websites - this one and another one about transcription. I could earn money from these sites. And when I got to a certain point, I could share my ideas with hubby and compromise.
Now, how to get the extended time from work in order to do these treks? I decided to start looking for a job in the school system, something with summers off and regular breaks during the year. I thought if he could also get something with the school system, then that could be a perfect compromise. He would have the job security he wants, along with a house to have as a base, and we could travel during the summers.
I wrote out this plan and an affirmation and I prayed over it. I didn't want to be selfish like before. I just wanted my desires to happen too. I didn't want to give up any of my dreams simply because we'd remarried. But I didn't want any of the old arguments to come up either. So I prayed and affirmed that there would be no fighting over this.
Then I realized as well that I didn't necessarily have to compromise with him. I am an adult, and if I wanted to travel during the summers - alone or with a friend - I was perfectly capable. If I had the money, if the bills would be paid, if I had something for safety, then why not? Why compromise? So I decided that I was going to let go. I was going to make my dream come true.
(Continued in next post)
Friday, February 24, 2012
Affirmations and manifesting ice cream
Like I shared in my post regarding the blog's name of Manifesting cookies, I manifested food again yesterday. I was thinking of heading next door to the restaurant after lunch for an ice cream. When my supervisor went out, I came close to giving her my debit card and asking her to pick me up one. Imagine my surprise when she came back from picking up her lunch. She'd brought me a yogurt with strawberries and crushed oreos on top. Even better than the soft serve ice cream I was going to get.
I have some affirmations that I'm using at work pretty consistently. I've already shared how I prepave my day while I get ready for work. I also use the Universal Manager game from Ask and It is Given whenever I pass out anything work related - memos, training notices. I ask the Universal Manager to make sure that the papers get in the right hands, no matter where they are going, and I appreciate everything that he does.
I guess now I need to give the Universal Manager another job - making sure we have space for scheduled training at work. Space is at a premium and it seems as though everyone wants a room at the same time.
But that's okay, because this is my new request for the Universal Manger:
Thank you that whenever there is a training session, that there is
space available. Even if the first location is being used, there will
be a different space available with no issues or conflicts.
Are you using the Universal Manager to help you organize things?
I am happy to have the Universal Manager available to assist me in my job. It helps take the stress away when I feel as though I am having to jump through hoops. It's just another process that is fun to do in
order to release resistance and to feel good.
I have some affirmations that I'm using at work pretty consistently. I've already shared how I prepave my day while I get ready for work. I also use the Universal Manager game from Ask and It is Given whenever I pass out anything work related - memos, training notices. I ask the Universal Manager to make sure that the papers get in the right hands, no matter where they are going, and I appreciate everything that he does.
I guess now I need to give the Universal Manager another job - making sure we have space for scheduled training at work. Space is at a premium and it seems as though everyone wants a room at the same time.
But that's okay, because this is my new request for the Universal Manger:
Thank you that whenever there is a training session, that there is
space available. Even if the first location is being used, there will
be a different space available with no issues or conflicts.
Are you using the Universal Manager to help you organize things?
I am happy to have the Universal Manager available to assist me in my job. It helps take the stress away when I feel as though I am having to jump through hoops. It's just another process that is fun to do in
order to release resistance and to feel good.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Law of Attraction Awareness
My husband and I had been invited to a wedding of a friend of his from a former job. We were sitting at the reception, talking with each other, waiting for the bride and groom to arrive. He mentioned wanting some barbecue, maybe some Brunswick stew, and I mentioned that our son had said something about getting some Brunswick stew from the grocery store deli where he worked. He mentioned a specific barbecue restaurant, Country's BBQ, and I said, well, why don't we go to dinner there tonight? He agreed.
We enjoyed the wedding reception and got to meet more of his friend's family. The friend - the groom - asked my husband if he wanted to hang around a bit and maybe go out to dinner that night since he didn't get a lot to eat at the reception. I asked my husband, are you sure? I know this is a second marriage for them, but the kids are going to be gone tonight and I would think they'd want to be alone for a while. He'd better run this by his wife.
To my surprise she agreed, and we helped them carry some gifts back to their house. Once the kids were dropped off we headed out to eat - at Country's BBQ. So he got his barbecue chicken and stew, we got some takeout for our son, and the bride and groom paid for our dinner.
_____________________________________________
Our son has a job at a local grocery store. One of his duties is running the carts back into the store from the parking lot. He and his co-workers are allowed to wear their iPods while outside on the lot. My husband and I felt that was dangerous and told our son so. We felt it was a safety hazard with cars zipping in and out and sometimes people not paying close attention. He said it was boring on the lot and he always kept the music low enough to hear what was around him and he always looked where he was going. We weren't happy about it, but we still didn't like it. My husband expressed a desire that he not be allowed to wear the headphones while on the parking lot.
Our son came home the other day and told me that he was written up that day. He was on the lot, listening to his music, pushing the carts, and even though he'd looked FOUR times (he made sure to tell me that) this lady came from nowhere in the lot. She apparently complained, saying that he had run out in front of her. So now he is not allowed to wear his headphones on the lot.
Our son isn't very happy, but we are. And we're glad he's safe.
We enjoyed the wedding reception and got to meet more of his friend's family. The friend - the groom - asked my husband if he wanted to hang around a bit and maybe go out to dinner that night since he didn't get a lot to eat at the reception. I asked my husband, are you sure? I know this is a second marriage for them, but the kids are going to be gone tonight and I would think they'd want to be alone for a while. He'd better run this by his wife.
To my surprise she agreed, and we helped them carry some gifts back to their house. Once the kids were dropped off we headed out to eat - at Country's BBQ. So he got his barbecue chicken and stew, we got some takeout for our son, and the bride and groom paid for our dinner.
_____________________________________________
Our son has a job at a local grocery store. One of his duties is running the carts back into the store from the parking lot. He and his co-workers are allowed to wear their iPods while outside on the lot. My husband and I felt that was dangerous and told our son so. We felt it was a safety hazard with cars zipping in and out and sometimes people not paying close attention. He said it was boring on the lot and he always kept the music low enough to hear what was around him and he always looked where he was going. We weren't happy about it, but we still didn't like it. My husband expressed a desire that he not be allowed to wear the headphones while on the parking lot.
Our son came home the other day and told me that he was written up that day. He was on the lot, listening to his music, pushing the carts, and even though he'd looked FOUR times (he made sure to tell me that) this lady came from nowhere in the lot. She apparently complained, saying that he had run out in front of her. So now he is not allowed to wear his headphones on the lot.
Our son isn't very happy, but we are. And we're glad he's safe.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Pray Rain Journal Updates
I am loving the pray rain journals. I have one for work, one for family and one for my writing.
I have seen a lot happen regarding the family journals. I write about how my husband has a first shift shift job now and we're together to eat dinner every night. We watch movies, play games and just talk to each other.
Well, for the past two weeks, he's had to work first shift two or three days out of each week to fill in for a co-worker that's having surgery. It's been an adjustment for us, having him at home in the evenings, but it's been wonderful. And we have sat around the dinner table, enjoying each other and talking. We used to eat dinner watching something on Netflix, but with our new house and a dining room, we have decided that whenever we're together we eat at the table. It's been a wonderful change.
I also wrote about my son getting more hours at work. He's only been working maybe two days a week. He had his eye on a coat he's wanted for a long time and finally had enough money to get it, but wasn't sure if he should because he was concerned about how much money he'd make this month. I did some exercises with him and he obviously wanted the coat, so I encouraged him to buy it. He did, and when he got his schedule he was surprised to find he'd been scheduled for 22 hours. And a manager had said he'd been trying to call him to offer him more hours, but couldn't get him on our house line. So the extra hours had been there all along. There was just a block. But that has been removed now and I'm continuing to write that he will get at least 20
hours a week.
Nothing new has manifested in response to my writing journal, but I know things are happening behind the scenes. I have a short story being published soon in an anthology, I submitted another one to a magazine and I have a couple more I'm working on. I'm happy and optimistic about all of my projects and I'm continuing to write in the journal. There's plenty of paper left still to see my manifestations come to life.
My work journal has typically dealt with people at work and some of the processes that I don't enjoy. Well, those processes have almost taken care of themselves. The phone calls I don't enjoy making -- well, people are calling me now. There are a few holdouts, it seems, and maybe their intention of NOT taking the training classes are overshadowing my intention that they will call to schedule. But I'm starting to write that specific people will call me and I write out what I want their response to be. For example, for someone who hasn't
done their training in some time and keeps avoiding me I will write:
Sally Jo even came by the office and scheduled her training with me today. It was a surprise and a thrill to scratch her off my training list.
Or I'll write:
Sally Jo, the one who hasn't done her training in two months, put in a notice today. She's no longer working here, so I've crossed her off my training list.
We'll see how that goes for November. I'll either get a lot of phone calls from people to schedule their training or we'll get a lot of people quitting. Either way, it works for me.
I highly recommend the pray rain journal exercise. It really helps you see the possibilities all around you. Things will begin to happen.
I have seen a lot happen regarding the family journals. I write about how my husband has a first shift shift job now and we're together to eat dinner every night. We watch movies, play games and just talk to each other.
Well, for the past two weeks, he's had to work first shift two or three days out of each week to fill in for a co-worker that's having surgery. It's been an adjustment for us, having him at home in the evenings, but it's been wonderful. And we have sat around the dinner table, enjoying each other and talking. We used to eat dinner watching something on Netflix, but with our new house and a dining room, we have decided that whenever we're together we eat at the table. It's been a wonderful change.
I also wrote about my son getting more hours at work. He's only been working maybe two days a week. He had his eye on a coat he's wanted for a long time and finally had enough money to get it, but wasn't sure if he should because he was concerned about how much money he'd make this month. I did some exercises with him and he obviously wanted the coat, so I encouraged him to buy it. He did, and when he got his schedule he was surprised to find he'd been scheduled for 22 hours. And a manager had said he'd been trying to call him to offer him more hours, but couldn't get him on our house line. So the extra hours had been there all along. There was just a block. But that has been removed now and I'm continuing to write that he will get at least 20
hours a week.
Nothing new has manifested in response to my writing journal, but I know things are happening behind the scenes. I have a short story being published soon in an anthology, I submitted another one to a magazine and I have a couple more I'm working on. I'm happy and optimistic about all of my projects and I'm continuing to write in the journal. There's plenty of paper left still to see my manifestations come to life.
My work journal has typically dealt with people at work and some of the processes that I don't enjoy. Well, those processes have almost taken care of themselves. The phone calls I don't enjoy making -- well, people are calling me now. There are a few holdouts, it seems, and maybe their intention of NOT taking the training classes are overshadowing my intention that they will call to schedule. But I'm starting to write that specific people will call me and I write out what I want their response to be. For example, for someone who hasn't
done their training in some time and keeps avoiding me I will write:
Sally Jo even came by the office and scheduled her training with me today. It was a surprise and a thrill to scratch her off my training list.
Or I'll write:
Sally Jo, the one who hasn't done her training in two months, put in a notice today. She's no longer working here, so I've crossed her off my training list.
We'll see how that goes for November. I'll either get a lot of phone calls from people to schedule their training or we'll get a lot of people quitting. Either way, it works for me.
I highly recommend the pray rain journal exercise. It really helps you see the possibilities all around you. Things will begin to happen.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
More LOA awareness
I had told my husband of how I intended each day to go, the affirmations that I've said. I've told my son this too, but he's not sure about it all at this point. At 17, he most likely thinks this is all very strange and weird anyway.
So yesterday my husband told me about how he had prepaved his day. He works security and typically works second shift, but yesterday worked first shift to fill in for a co-worker. He doesn't particularly like
first shift. Typically things always tend to go wrong. But he prepaved his day for this shift.
He'd intended that nothing was going to go wrong, he would be able to sit at the desk and complete his paperwork and training and he wouldn't have to leave the desk unless he wanted to. And to top it off, the Chai tea would flow freely :)
So when he picked me up at work he described to me the perfect day he'd had. He'd gotten most of his training done, his paperwork done, nothing at all had gone wrong in the building, he got free breakfast
AND lunch AND one of the managers made a Starbucks run and brought him back a Chai tea - that the company paid for. I'd have to say that's a pretty good prepaved day.
So yesterday my husband told me about how he had prepaved his day. He works security and typically works second shift, but yesterday worked first shift to fill in for a co-worker. He doesn't particularly like
first shift. Typically things always tend to go wrong. But he prepaved his day for this shift.
He'd intended that nothing was going to go wrong, he would be able to sit at the desk and complete his paperwork and training and he wouldn't have to leave the desk unless he wanted to. And to top it off, the Chai tea would flow freely :)
So when he picked me up at work he described to me the perfect day he'd had. He'd gotten most of his training done, his paperwork done, nothing at all had gone wrong in the building, he got free breakfast
AND lunch AND one of the managers made a Starbucks run and brought him back a Chai tea - that the company paid for. I'd have to say that's a pretty good prepaved day.
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Finding Our House
be a new beginning.
I remember well the first trip we took to the mid-size town that would be our home. We got lost looking for the big shopping center and ended up in a much nicer area of town, the historic district. We drove through the tree lined streets and enjoyed seeing the large Victorian houses, the smaller brick homes, the large mini-estates. I remember making a comment to my husband --
Maybe we could rent one of the apartments in one of these Victorian homes and actually live in the historic district.
We've always loved old things. They bring back memories of being with our grandparents and great-grandparents. We have owned family homes in the past, selling one and then giving one up. We knew that we did not take care of them the way we should have and we often wished we could have another chance to care for a beautiful home, a home with character.
That was not where we lived for the first two years. We found a smaller house outside of town. It was rural and quiet, which we also liked. But it was soon apparent that we needed more room. We also had a lot to learn. And a year ago was when the lessons truly began - when we made a decision to choose us over our pets and made the hard decision to let most of them go. When we decided to truly discover what made us happy and what we wanted out of life. Then coming back together, choosing to be together. It was a difficult year, but a year of renewal and transition.
So we found ourselves needing a bit more space. Since our lease was coming up I started looking for a new house. Since discovering the law of attraction, we made a list of things we wanted in a house, including the rental price. We did find some land with a mobile home that was for sale. That sidetracked us for a while, but it was soon apparent that we were not able to get it at that moment. It did leave us hopeful for the future, but that is another story :)
So while looking for houses I checked real estate websites. The realtors here do a lot of property management. I checked a website late one night and found three homes they were offering - two duplexes
and one brick home, in the historic district of town. The brick house was the most expensive, about $25 more than we had been affirming, but still less expensive than the rent our current landlord wanted to charge us if we'd stayed.
We went to see each location. The duplexes first, and they were an automatic no from the guys. Then we drove up to the house, and it was a yes.
It's a beautiful, brick home built in the early 1900s, with wood floors and a beautiful den and dining room. It's only one bath, but we haven't minded. We're using the den as a computer room / library. We're enjoying the space we have as well. We're not as cramped as we were in our previous rental. The house reminds us so much of the family homes we've owned in the past. We're looking forward to taking care of the yard, planting a garden in the spring, truly having our new start there.
We had a ton of kids on Halloween, running out of candy by 6:30. We had fun, all of us sitting out in the front yard handing out candy, talking to all the kids that came by. Christmas is coming, and the historic district offers a walking and driving tour around ten blocks. Of course, our house is one of the first on the route, and we're looking forward to participating. There is a church just two blocks down the street that we've begun attending. They have the most beautiful carillon bells. It is so peaceful to come home in the evening and just lean against the car and listen to the bells play.
While we may not have been able to find an apartment in a large Victorian home, we have found a perfect rental. It was not everything we affirmed that we wanted, but in truth it was what our hearts wanted. It has a character that we love. It did not take us long to feel at home there. Not once have I accidentally started driving the old way home out of habit.
We weren't sure about living in town at first. We love living in a rural area and having a bit more room around us. But the neighborhood is quiet and peaceful. For right now it's where we need to be, where we want to be.
We still want to buy a house one day, but we're not set on it being in the county now. We've even found a house down the street we love. But I've also found myself wondering what I would do to fix up our current
house if it was really and truly ours. We even found a loft in the middle of downtown -- selling for $300,000 <shocked>! And yes, we kept the flyer, even though we know in reality that we could not buy it.
But we know about the law of attraction. We know that this is a world of AND, not OR. We know we can have whatever we want. So we are going to use this time to decide what we want. Country or town? Big or
small? House or loft? Yard or no yard? We can create whatever we choose. Who knows what the future will bring? We're going to start a vision board on houses soon. It's going to be a fun project.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Affirmations, tools, and LOA
Since reading Think and Grow Rich and other Napoleon Hill books, The Secret and Connie Domino's The Law of Attraction, I have used affirmations. But there was a point when I was reading The Good Vibe Blog that I asked myself, am I doing this LOA thing right? And just as quickly I realized, there is no right way. The Law of Attraction just is.
While I don't need an affirmation for something to happen, I do find it helpful - for me - because they help me to remember to speak in positive words instead of negative. Connie Domino's book was very helpful with that. One of her steps is thinking of negative things that are going to come up and turning them around into positive affirmations. And that has helped a lot. Whenever I begin to think about something and it turns negative I use her tips to turn my thinking around.
According to Think and Grow Rich, we're supposed to have one specific purpose to work towards. The book typically is written for those looking for a specific type of work or lifestyle. And I did choose my specific purpose as related to work. I want to make a living as a full time writer. And I focused on that for a while. I even have a goal statement written out and attached to a bulletin board. But while the book says to repeat that statement every day, I stopped doing that a while ago.
Why?
Because I've already put that request out there. I already know that is my dream. I don't have to request it again and again. And at this point in life I'm not going to forget it. So I will glance at that goal statement every now and again, and I will read it, and I will feel happy because I know it's coming true.
I did affirmations for our new house as well. I was reciting the affirmations multiple times a day and I felt wonderful, knowing that the new rental house was on its way. We did get sidetracked at one point as we thought about buying some land that came available, but that fell through. I believe it was for a reason and I'll elaborate more later. But I was affirming the house so often that I had a dream one night about finding a wonderful, beautiful house to rent in our price range. That dream, to me, was an answer, telling me that it was
on the way. And we got it sooner than I'd asked for as well. It's not exactly what I affirmed, but sometimes I believe that the essence of what we ask for is what is granted, not the actual item.
So the final word on affirmations is this - use them or not. If it feels like work, stop using them. The same goes for all types of tools and rituals some LOA coaches want you to do, such as vision boards or writing exercises. Do what feels good to you.
I have a white board in my computer room with ASK, BELIEVE, RECIEVE written at the top. As I think of things that I want in my life - not just physical things - I write on the board. And as I glance at the board and read what I've written I thank God for those things coming into my life.
One example is selling some land. We had some land attached to our previous house that was still in our name. It was only 2 acres and was landlocked. There was no use for anyone to have it except those who
bought our old property or the neighbors. We'd priced it at $5,000 to the person who bought our property and he said he'd get back with us.
Well, during the tornadoes that hit the south in April 2011 the house was damaged and the people didn't even know if they were going to stay or not. I told them that we would sell the property for $1000 if they decided to stay and still wanted it. I didn't hear anything for a month. I wrote this affirmation on the board:
Land sells by September 30, 2011.
I had a specific date because our lease was up in October and we needed the money for moving expenses in October.
The land sold and closed in mid August.
I don't believe that using the white board or any other type of manifesting tools are magical. I think that our words do have power, and for me, writing on the board was a way of clarifying what I wanted to happen. And that's all the tools are to me - a way to clarify. So, again, use affirmations or don't. Use a white board or don't. Use vision boards or don't. Use whatever feels good and right to you. The Law of Attraction is there and it will work. I'm sure that now that you're aware of it you can look back on your life and see times that
it worked and you hadn't done anything. I know that I can. Other times you may want to take inspired action and that is okay too. There is no one way, no "right" way to use the Law of Attraction. It just is.
While I don't need an affirmation for something to happen, I do find it helpful - for me - because they help me to remember to speak in positive words instead of negative. Connie Domino's book was very helpful with that. One of her steps is thinking of negative things that are going to come up and turning them around into positive affirmations. And that has helped a lot. Whenever I begin to think about something and it turns negative I use her tips to turn my thinking around.
According to Think and Grow Rich, we're supposed to have one specific purpose to work towards. The book typically is written for those looking for a specific type of work or lifestyle. And I did choose my specific purpose as related to work. I want to make a living as a full time writer. And I focused on that for a while. I even have a goal statement written out and attached to a bulletin board. But while the book says to repeat that statement every day, I stopped doing that a while ago.
Why?
Because I've already put that request out there. I already know that is my dream. I don't have to request it again and again. And at this point in life I'm not going to forget it. So I will glance at that goal statement every now and again, and I will read it, and I will feel happy because I know it's coming true.
I did affirmations for our new house as well. I was reciting the affirmations multiple times a day and I felt wonderful, knowing that the new rental house was on its way. We did get sidetracked at one point as we thought about buying some land that came available, but that fell through. I believe it was for a reason and I'll elaborate more later. But I was affirming the house so often that I had a dream one night about finding a wonderful, beautiful house to rent in our price range. That dream, to me, was an answer, telling me that it was
on the way. And we got it sooner than I'd asked for as well. It's not exactly what I affirmed, but sometimes I believe that the essence of what we ask for is what is granted, not the actual item.
So the final word on affirmations is this - use them or not. If it feels like work, stop using them. The same goes for all types of tools and rituals some LOA coaches want you to do, such as vision boards or writing exercises. Do what feels good to you.
I have a white board in my computer room with ASK, BELIEVE, RECIEVE written at the top. As I think of things that I want in my life - not just physical things - I write on the board. And as I glance at the board and read what I've written I thank God for those things coming into my life.
One example is selling some land. We had some land attached to our previous house that was still in our name. It was only 2 acres and was landlocked. There was no use for anyone to have it except those who
bought our old property or the neighbors. We'd priced it at $5,000 to the person who bought our property and he said he'd get back with us.
Well, during the tornadoes that hit the south in April 2011 the house was damaged and the people didn't even know if they were going to stay or not. I told them that we would sell the property for $1000 if they decided to stay and still wanted it. I didn't hear anything for a month. I wrote this affirmation on the board:
Land sells by September 30, 2011.
I had a specific date because our lease was up in October and we needed the money for moving expenses in October.
The land sold and closed in mid August.
I don't believe that using the white board or any other type of manifesting tools are magical. I think that our words do have power, and for me, writing on the board was a way of clarifying what I wanted to happen. And that's all the tools are to me - a way to clarify. So, again, use affirmations or don't. Use a white board or don't. Use vision boards or don't. Use whatever feels good and right to you. The Law of Attraction is there and it will work. I'm sure that now that you're aware of it you can look back on your life and see times that
it worked and you hadn't done anything. I know that I can. Other times you may want to take inspired action and that is okay too. There is no one way, no "right" way to use the Law of Attraction. It just is.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Law of Attraction Awareness
A few months ago my sweetie called after he got off work at 11pm to tell me about these large bugs that were everywhere. They seemed to be trying to fly but couldn't. They were huge, orange and black, and he'd never seen them before. They made a noise like crickets but were large enough to be locusts. He saved a dead one that was laying on his truck to show me. Neither of us had any idea what this bug might be. I'd planned to do an Internet search on the bug but it was late so I waited.
The next day I was getting coffee in the break room at work and noticed the newspaper on the table. I flipped through it and there was an article written by a local county extension agent about periodical cicadas. Apparently they'd gotten a lot of phone calls from people in the area wondering where all these large bugs came from. The description was exactly like the ones he'd found - orange and black with red eyes. They live underground and only surface to mate every 13-17 years. So he'd seen something special that night. I made sure to copy the article to give him later.
Today one of our managers came into the office to ask about an applicant she had interviewed last week. The name wasn't familiar, so the supervisor checked on applications that were still pending. While she did that, the phone rang - it was that very same applicant calling to check on the status of his application.
Last year my son and I wanted to go to Target on Black Friday to get a sandwich maker. They had them on sale on Friday only for $3. We got there early but the shelves were empty. But we still wanted a sandwich maker. About a month later I was at the thrift store and went browsing in the household items. Right there was a sandwich maker. I bought it for $2. Then my mother in law gave us one that she'd had for years and wasn't using, so we then had two!
We moved into a new rental and needed to do our own lawn care. We'd gotten rid of our old mower over two years ago and the previous rental house provided lawn care. So I asked a co-worker who lived nearby if we could borrow hers. She said yes and gave me directions to her house on Wednesday. Her phone started to ring and she said she'd get me her number by Friday. Friday came and we both forgot to exchange numbers. I also left the paper she'd given me with her address on it in my desk drawer. I could only remember a part of her address, her husband's name and the type of car she drove. I was able to verify the street name and get directions using the Internet, but I didn't get a phone number or house number. So sweetie and I started out Saturday morning to find her house. I was hoping there would be a name on the mailbox or the house or I would see her car. But nothing. So we meandered through the neighborhood, noticing houses that we liked, enjoyed finding a lake up the road with homes around it, and I said, well, A knows where we live. She'll realize I don't have her number and she'll come by our house. So we got home and I was preparing to leave for an errand when A and her husband drove up, not even five minutes later. She'd stopped by because she hadn't seen us yet at her house. I explained what happened and sweetie was able to follow them to the house and get the mower while I went out on my errand.
The next day I was getting coffee in the break room at work and noticed the newspaper on the table. I flipped through it and there was an article written by a local county extension agent about periodical cicadas. Apparently they'd gotten a lot of phone calls from people in the area wondering where all these large bugs came from. The description was exactly like the ones he'd found - orange and black with red eyes. They live underground and only surface to mate every 13-17 years. So he'd seen something special that night. I made sure to copy the article to give him later.
Today one of our managers came into the office to ask about an applicant she had interviewed last week. The name wasn't familiar, so the supervisor checked on applications that were still pending. While she did that, the phone rang - it was that very same applicant calling to check on the status of his application.
Last year my son and I wanted to go to Target on Black Friday to get a sandwich maker. They had them on sale on Friday only for $3. We got there early but the shelves were empty. But we still wanted a sandwich maker. About a month later I was at the thrift store and went browsing in the household items. Right there was a sandwich maker. I bought it for $2. Then my mother in law gave us one that she'd had for years and wasn't using, so we then had two!
We moved into a new rental and needed to do our own lawn care. We'd gotten rid of our old mower over two years ago and the previous rental house provided lawn care. So I asked a co-worker who lived nearby if we could borrow hers. She said yes and gave me directions to her house on Wednesday. Her phone started to ring and she said she'd get me her number by Friday. Friday came and we both forgot to exchange numbers. I also left the paper she'd given me with her address on it in my desk drawer. I could only remember a part of her address, her husband's name and the type of car she drove. I was able to verify the street name and get directions using the Internet, but I didn't get a phone number or house number. So sweetie and I started out Saturday morning to find her house. I was hoping there would be a name on the mailbox or the house or I would see her car. But nothing. So we meandered through the neighborhood, noticing houses that we liked, enjoyed finding a lake up the road with homes around it, and I said, well, A knows where we live. She'll realize I don't have her number and she'll come by our house. So we got home and I was preparing to leave for an errand when A and her husband drove up, not even five minutes later. She'd stopped by because she hadn't seen us yet at her house. I explained what happened and sweetie was able to follow them to the house and get the mower while I went out on my errand.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
The blog name
I thought it would be fun to show how the Law of Attraction has worked in other ways in my life. So I thought I would share how I came up with the name for this blog.
I'd been reading a lot of information about LOA and was having fun with it. I was doing a lot of little things and enjoying myself with it. I would play with finding a good parking spot, being able to get out into traffic easily, stopping the rain long enough to get inside. Yes, you can use the Law of Attraction for all of that stuff - and more.
One particular thing I did at the grocery store was notice at the end of my grocery list that I still needed ketchup. I was at the far end of the store, in the frozen food section, and I thought, "I need ketchup."
But I didn't want to walk to the middle of the store again. Well, I turned around the last aisle and right there at the frozen potatoes there was a display of ketchup.
So one day at work I'd had lunch and wanted something sweet. I was telling my sweetie via text that I wanted a cookie. We started talking about what kind of cookies we liked - chocolate chip, peanut butter, oatmeal raisin. We had fun with it. After work my son picked me up. He'd used the car that day to volunteer that day. When I got into the car he handed me a Little Debbie oatmeal cookie. The volunteer coordinator had given him a couple and he brought me and his dad one.
I started laughing and told him about the texts I'd shared with his dad earlier about wanting a cookie. I told my sweetie that I had manifested cookies for us.
Many things have happened in my life similar to the ketchup and cookie incident. A random, fleeting thought would eventually manifest. In the past I didn't even notice. If I did, I said it was coincidence. But I am being more aware now of incidents such as that. I know now that there is no such thing as coincidence.
I'd been reading a lot of information about LOA and was having fun with it. I was doing a lot of little things and enjoying myself with it. I would play with finding a good parking spot, being able to get out into traffic easily, stopping the rain long enough to get inside. Yes, you can use the Law of Attraction for all of that stuff - and more.
One particular thing I did at the grocery store was notice at the end of my grocery list that I still needed ketchup. I was at the far end of the store, in the frozen food section, and I thought, "I need ketchup."
But I didn't want to walk to the middle of the store again. Well, I turned around the last aisle and right there at the frozen potatoes there was a display of ketchup.
So one day at work I'd had lunch and wanted something sweet. I was telling my sweetie via text that I wanted a cookie. We started talking about what kind of cookies we liked - chocolate chip, peanut butter, oatmeal raisin. We had fun with it. After work my son picked me up. He'd used the car that day to volunteer that day. When I got into the car he handed me a Little Debbie oatmeal cookie. The volunteer coordinator had given him a couple and he brought me and his dad one.
I started laughing and told him about the texts I'd shared with his dad earlier about wanting a cookie. I told my sweetie that I had manifested cookies for us.
Many things have happened in my life similar to the ketchup and cookie incident. A random, fleeting thought would eventually manifest. In the past I didn't even notice. If I did, I said it was coincidence. But I am being more aware now of incidents such as that. I know now that there is no such thing as coincidence.
Monday, October 10, 2011
Allowing - backstory continued
As you learn more about the Law of Attraction you will learn about allowing. That is the process by which you allow whatever is going to happen to happen. You release your attachment to something, your need for something, and allow it to come to you - or not - whatever it may be. If it comes to you, it will be something wonderful because you wanted it. If not, then that something wasn't meant to be. Something better is coming for you down the road.
I had no idea what allowing was at the time this happened. I just knew I needed some peace. I was desperate, even needy, for my husband to come back to me. I felt torn in pieces. I was doing better, yes, but
there were still so many days when I went to the bathroom at work and cried. I couldn't help it. I was doing my best to be positive, to stay busy. Luckily, I'd gotten a big transcription job that filled my evenings. But I was still filled with regret, disappointment, anger. My emotions were all over the place at times. I couldn't tell you where I was on the emotional scale at this point.
It was May, just after Mother's Day. I'd met with my son and my ex husband for a movie and dinner, but it didn't go well. As much as I'd tried not to cry, I couldn't seem to help it. I knew he was still in contact with the woman he'd had the affair with, even though he said it was over. I'd found some things that led me to believe that he still had feelings for her. The issue was he was still telling me that he had feelings for me. So I was hurting. And this didn't help Mother's Day go well. I was tired. We'd had a fight. Instead of a lovely day together that I wanted, it ended up being very emotional. All I could think about was how we'd all be going in different directions after the night was over. He was also angry at me for going through his things and finding what I'd found. I knew it was wrong of me to do that, but I still didn't feel I could trust him.
I had a sleepless night and the morning didn't start out any better. I cant even remember what we fought about but Monday morning we had a fight via text message. I believe it primarily was about the fact that I had gone through his things, trying to find proof that he was still seeing this woman, not just talking to her. I couldn't stop crying. My supervisor's supervisor had to come in to talk to me. I had to gain some control over my emotions. I had to stop. I had to let go.
I'm not saying it was easy. It was not. And I was still attached. I was still needy. I wanted him to want me. I wanted him to want to come back. But I knew as long as he was still in any kind of contact with the woman he'd been with he could not return. Even as emotional as I was, I was forgiving myself. I was standing up for myself. I was taking back some control over my own life, not just letting things happen to me.
We didn't speak for two days. I admit I kept looking for a text, for a phone call, an email. Something. I had to keep distracting my mind with other things. Work, music, a funny movie, a walk around the block. Anything that would keep my mind off of what he may be doing, who he may be seeing. It was hard not to contact him. But I'd known for a while that I had to let him go just so I could finally heal. I knew that holding on to him, trying to make something that didn't exist anymore work. And it was hurting me. I had to accept that we were legally divorced and it didn't matter what he said to me. His actions were speaking louder than ever and I admitted to myself that legally I had no say in anything he did.
I'd had enough. I was at work. It was maybe 11 on Wednesday morning and I was about to start filing. I checked my phone once more for a message but there wasn't one. I got up and walked to file cabinet and
told myself to let it go. The drama, the emotional upheaval, all of that was over. I knew that I would be okay. That was something God had been telling me during this time. He told me over and over again that no matter what, with or without my husband in my life, I would be okay. It wasn't until that moment that I truly believed that. I knew, without any doubt, that I would be okay. I would make it. I would make my dreams come true. I would find love again one day. Until then, I would do whatever needed to be done and I would care for our son the best way I could.
I started filing. I enjoyed the sunshine coming through the window. I cracked the window to let in some fresh spring air and take away the chill from the AC. I enjoyed the blooming Christmas cactus on the file cabinet at work. I began to sing to myself - Do I do, yes, I say, Trust in you, Lord all the way.
I thought about things I wanted to do. I thought about my 40th birthday, coming up in July, and the trip to
the beach I'd planned with my mom. And I felt better.
And my phone beeped with a text. And a relationship began to heal.
I had no idea what allowing was at the time this happened. I just knew I needed some peace. I was desperate, even needy, for my husband to come back to me. I felt torn in pieces. I was doing better, yes, but
there were still so many days when I went to the bathroom at work and cried. I couldn't help it. I was doing my best to be positive, to stay busy. Luckily, I'd gotten a big transcription job that filled my evenings. But I was still filled with regret, disappointment, anger. My emotions were all over the place at times. I couldn't tell you where I was on the emotional scale at this point.
It was May, just after Mother's Day. I'd met with my son and my ex husband for a movie and dinner, but it didn't go well. As much as I'd tried not to cry, I couldn't seem to help it. I knew he was still in contact with the woman he'd had the affair with, even though he said it was over. I'd found some things that led me to believe that he still had feelings for her. The issue was he was still telling me that he had feelings for me. So I was hurting. And this didn't help Mother's Day go well. I was tired. We'd had a fight. Instead of a lovely day together that I wanted, it ended up being very emotional. All I could think about was how we'd all be going in different directions after the night was over. He was also angry at me for going through his things and finding what I'd found. I knew it was wrong of me to do that, but I still didn't feel I could trust him.
I had a sleepless night and the morning didn't start out any better. I cant even remember what we fought about but Monday morning we had a fight via text message. I believe it primarily was about the fact that I had gone through his things, trying to find proof that he was still seeing this woman, not just talking to her. I couldn't stop crying. My supervisor's supervisor had to come in to talk to me. I had to gain some control over my emotions. I had to stop. I had to let go.
I'm not saying it was easy. It was not. And I was still attached. I was still needy. I wanted him to want me. I wanted him to want to come back. But I knew as long as he was still in any kind of contact with the woman he'd been with he could not return. Even as emotional as I was, I was forgiving myself. I was standing up for myself. I was taking back some control over my own life, not just letting things happen to me.
We didn't speak for two days. I admit I kept looking for a text, for a phone call, an email. Something. I had to keep distracting my mind with other things. Work, music, a funny movie, a walk around the block. Anything that would keep my mind off of what he may be doing, who he may be seeing. It was hard not to contact him. But I'd known for a while that I had to let him go just so I could finally heal. I knew that holding on to him, trying to make something that didn't exist anymore work. And it was hurting me. I had to accept that we were legally divorced and it didn't matter what he said to me. His actions were speaking louder than ever and I admitted to myself that legally I had no say in anything he did.
I'd had enough. I was at work. It was maybe 11 on Wednesday morning and I was about to start filing. I checked my phone once more for a message but there wasn't one. I got up and walked to file cabinet and
told myself to let it go. The drama, the emotional upheaval, all of that was over. I knew that I would be okay. That was something God had been telling me during this time. He told me over and over again that no matter what, with or without my husband in my life, I would be okay. It wasn't until that moment that I truly believed that. I knew, without any doubt, that I would be okay. I would make it. I would make my dreams come true. I would find love again one day. Until then, I would do whatever needed to be done and I would care for our son the best way I could.
I started filing. I enjoyed the sunshine coming through the window. I cracked the window to let in some fresh spring air and take away the chill from the AC. I enjoyed the blooming Christmas cactus on the file cabinet at work. I began to sing to myself - Do I do, yes, I say, Trust in you, Lord all the way.
I thought about things I wanted to do. I thought about my 40th birthday, coming up in July, and the trip to
the beach I'd planned with my mom. And I felt better.
And my phone beeped with a text. And a relationship began to heal.
Law of Attraction Awareness - Affirmation answered
Yes, just that quick :)
Last night my ex husband, my sweetie, asked me to marry him this month. He no longer wanted to wait until April.
We're going to be married in a civil ceremony in Alabama on October 21, then we're going to have a religious ceremony in our home town the following Sunday.
I am definitely in a good vibe today.
Last night my ex husband, my sweetie, asked me to marry him this month. He no longer wanted to wait until April.
We're going to be married in a civil ceremony in Alabama on October 21, then we're going to have a religious ceremony in our home town the following Sunday.
I am definitely in a good vibe today.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Positive Thinking - a process
There is always a process to changing your mindset. Just because I had to go through a divorce and life upheaval doesn't mean that you will. You can start right where you are. I'm just describing my process.
So as I'm grieving the loss of my marriage, my son leaving in April to stay with his grandparents, working essentially two jobs - I worked full time as well as kept the part-time transcription work going - I was reading. It seems as though whenever one book would end I would find another.
Sometimes I would read the book all the way through and it would resonate with me. Sometimes I would only read part of it. But everything made an impact on me and the process I was going through.
My goal was to feel better. My goal was to be successful at my dreams, with or without anyone else. I realized that since I was the only one who could control my actions, I was the only one that could make my
dreams come true. For too long I had depended on my husband to make my dreams come true. I had spent money on one thing after another, trying to be self supporting, but in reality it was money he had earned.
Money he had made working six days a week, working overtime just to keep the bills paid while I was working on my dreams. So I set out to find a way to make those dreams happen on my own.
I started out with Think and Grow Rich. This Napoleon Hill book is a classic by most self improvement gurus today. I obtained a lot of nuggets of wisdom in this book, even though it is outdated in many ways regarding the people discussed. But it did a lot in changing my attitude about things. Not just my attitude toward others, but also myself. I wanted to be more positive about everything.
One thing that is hard to accept in this process is that you cause your circumstances. Yes, you do. It doesn't matter who did what. It doesn't matter who hurt you. I knew that I could play the victim and no one would blame me. Maybe you can too. But it was my attitude that would draw these situtations to me. I could look back and see it happening. I would fight with my husband and threaten divorce. And what happened? We eventually divorced. I would fight with my son and want to be left alone. And he left me alone to stay with his
grandparents. I even had a running joke with my son. I'd call him smartass of the year. I even made him a certificate that said that. But I realized the more I studied LOA that I was causing the behavior. I didn't like his smartass behavior, but by calling attention to it, it would continue. So I no longer do that.
I realized that yes, my attitude was to blame. And no one could change it but me. This was something from Think and Grow Rich that hit me so hard about attitude -
You are who you are today because of your attitude with yourself and others.
And the natural ending to that hit me between the eyes - Who I will be TOMORROW is because of my attitude with myself and others. So if I wanted to be a better person tomorrow, I needed to change my
attitude TODAY.
Wow. That was a wake up call.
So as I'm grieving the loss of my marriage, my son leaving in April to stay with his grandparents, working essentially two jobs - I worked full time as well as kept the part-time transcription work going - I was reading. It seems as though whenever one book would end I would find another.
Sometimes I would read the book all the way through and it would resonate with me. Sometimes I would only read part of it. But everything made an impact on me and the process I was going through.
My goal was to feel better. My goal was to be successful at my dreams, with or without anyone else. I realized that since I was the only one who could control my actions, I was the only one that could make my
dreams come true. For too long I had depended on my husband to make my dreams come true. I had spent money on one thing after another, trying to be self supporting, but in reality it was money he had earned.
Money he had made working six days a week, working overtime just to keep the bills paid while I was working on my dreams. So I set out to find a way to make those dreams happen on my own.
I started out with Think and Grow Rich. This Napoleon Hill book is a classic by most self improvement gurus today. I obtained a lot of nuggets of wisdom in this book, even though it is outdated in many ways regarding the people discussed. But it did a lot in changing my attitude about things. Not just my attitude toward others, but also myself. I wanted to be more positive about everything.
One thing that is hard to accept in this process is that you cause your circumstances. Yes, you do. It doesn't matter who did what. It doesn't matter who hurt you. I knew that I could play the victim and no one would blame me. Maybe you can too. But it was my attitude that would draw these situtations to me. I could look back and see it happening. I would fight with my husband and threaten divorce. And what happened? We eventually divorced. I would fight with my son and want to be left alone. And he left me alone to stay with his
grandparents. I even had a running joke with my son. I'd call him smartass of the year. I even made him a certificate that said that. But I realized the more I studied LOA that I was causing the behavior. I didn't like his smartass behavior, but by calling attention to it, it would continue. So I no longer do that.
I realized that yes, my attitude was to blame. And no one could change it but me. This was something from Think and Grow Rich that hit me so hard about attitude -
You are who you are today because of your attitude with yourself and others.
And the natural ending to that hit me between the eyes - Who I will be TOMORROW is because of my attitude with myself and others. So if I wanted to be a better person tomorrow, I needed to change my
attitude TODAY.
Wow. That was a wake up call.
Friday, October 7, 2011
April 2011 - LOA in action
Back in February, when everything exploded, I was only working part time and I was self employed completing transcription at home. I knew I could not make a living on what I was making. I had been looking for full time work since November 2010 and hadn't even had an interview. But I had to do something and soon.
My mother actually found the link to the organization. This was in February. I applied for a position and waited, all while applying for other positions. During this time I was experiencing what LOA teachers
call contrast. I knew what I didn't want and that was helping me know what I did want. So I prayed. I prayed for a full time job making X dollars an hour, 40 hours a week, benefits, etc. Based on contrast from my past, I knew I did not want retail. I did finally get an interview at Home Depot, but it was for a part-time cashier position. In order to take it, I would have had to keep my other part-time job as well, and it paid minimum wage. I didn't know how, but I had to hold out for that office job.
I continued to apply at every business and organization in my area. I applied for city jobs, county jobs, jobs at the local hospital. I had actually completely forgotten about this organization when they called to set up an interview - in April. I had to look up the website again to see what I had applied for. And I was very surprised when I went in for the interview and found out that what I had applied for was not what they wanted me for.I was interviewing for an administrative assistant job, not the job I had applied for.
Apparently my background in office work - even though I'd been self employed or worked for family for the past 10 years - impressed them. The current assistant was being promoted and they needed someone to replace her. I went to the office, I met the supervisor, I met the current assistant. I have no idea what they told
me during that meeting. I knew it was things I had never done as well as things I hadn't done in 10 years. I was full of doubt. Could I do this job? Based on all the LOA teachings that I've read in the past eight months I should not have been accepted. I constantly doubted my ability to do this job. But I persevered, pushed
through the doubt and took the job.
It was everything I'd asked for plus some. It was 40 hours, it was Monday - Friday, they offered benefits, the salary was .50 more than I'd wanted and they had a very generous vacation and sick leave package that started accruing immediately. I didn't have to wait a year to take vacation time or worry about getting sick or my son getting sick and having to be out. Another hindsight view from LOA as well - I'd actually called the place by mistake when applying for food stamps as the number is listed incorrectly online and with directory assistance. So a month before I'd actually talked to my future supervisor, in the office where we would work, and didn't even know it.
The day I got the call that I got the job I was with my ex husband. We were having lunch. I was glad he was with me. He'd wanted me to get a full time job for some time and part of my selfishness was in wanting to be self employed or working part time, allowing him to work the most hours and make the majority of the money. I was glad that he could see that I was not going to back away from my responsibilities.
All the way to work that afternoon, though, I cried. I cried for a future that was gone. The dream we'd had of building a house, buying some land in the country, being self supporting. The dream of the life we were going to build in a new place. All the hopes we'd had of starting over when we'd moved to Alabama the previous year. All of those were gone. And even though I was happy I'd gotten the job I was grieving because he wasn't there - not really - to celebrate the accomplishment with me.
My mother actually found the link to the organization. This was in February. I applied for a position and waited, all while applying for other positions. During this time I was experiencing what LOA teachers
call contrast. I knew what I didn't want and that was helping me know what I did want. So I prayed. I prayed for a full time job making X dollars an hour, 40 hours a week, benefits, etc. Based on contrast from my past, I knew I did not want retail. I did finally get an interview at Home Depot, but it was for a part-time cashier position. In order to take it, I would have had to keep my other part-time job as well, and it paid minimum wage. I didn't know how, but I had to hold out for that office job.
I continued to apply at every business and organization in my area. I applied for city jobs, county jobs, jobs at the local hospital. I had actually completely forgotten about this organization when they called to set up an interview - in April. I had to look up the website again to see what I had applied for. And I was very surprised when I went in for the interview and found out that what I had applied for was not what they wanted me for.I was interviewing for an administrative assistant job, not the job I had applied for.
Apparently my background in office work - even though I'd been self employed or worked for family for the past 10 years - impressed them. The current assistant was being promoted and they needed someone to replace her. I went to the office, I met the supervisor, I met the current assistant. I have no idea what they told
me during that meeting. I knew it was things I had never done as well as things I hadn't done in 10 years. I was full of doubt. Could I do this job? Based on all the LOA teachings that I've read in the past eight months I should not have been accepted. I constantly doubted my ability to do this job. But I persevered, pushed
through the doubt and took the job.
It was everything I'd asked for plus some. It was 40 hours, it was Monday - Friday, they offered benefits, the salary was .50 more than I'd wanted and they had a very generous vacation and sick leave package that started accruing immediately. I didn't have to wait a year to take vacation time or worry about getting sick or my son getting sick and having to be out. Another hindsight view from LOA as well - I'd actually called the place by mistake when applying for food stamps as the number is listed incorrectly online and with directory assistance. So a month before I'd actually talked to my future supervisor, in the office where we would work, and didn't even know it.
The day I got the call that I got the job I was with my ex husband. We were having lunch. I was glad he was with me. He'd wanted me to get a full time job for some time and part of my selfishness was in wanting to be self employed or working part time, allowing him to work the most hours and make the majority of the money. I was glad that he could see that I was not going to back away from my responsibilities.
All the way to work that afternoon, though, I cried. I cried for a future that was gone. The dream we'd had of building a house, buying some land in the country, being self supporting. The dream of the life we were going to build in a new place. All the hopes we'd had of starting over when we'd moved to Alabama the previous year. All of those were gone. And even though I was happy I'd gotten the job I was grieving because he wasn't there - not really - to celebrate the accomplishment with me.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Law of Attraction Awareness
I think it's interesting that this morning the nursing director at work left me a postcard with a note on it regarding a file I'd left her. The front of the postcard was a dandelion with some of the seeds blowing in the wind - almost exactly the same as my blog design that I chose last night.
Sometimes I think we make LOA too difficult. We don't have to think of things we want ALL the time. We don't need mantras that we repeat a certain number of times. Sometimes it's just a fleeting thought that we have and one day that thought is reality. It's when we are allowing, when we open ourselves to that thought - that's when it happens.
I'll share a little more about some fleeting thoughts I've had that have manifested in my life a bit later. Now that I know about LOA, though, I've paid attention to these things more and realized, oh, yeah, we talked about this, didn't we? As far as I'm concerned, there's no such thing as coincidence any more.
Sometimes I think we make LOA too difficult. We don't have to think of things we want ALL the time. We don't need mantras that we repeat a certain number of times. Sometimes it's just a fleeting thought that we have and one day that thought is reality. It's when we are allowing, when we open ourselves to that thought - that's when it happens.
I'll share a little more about some fleeting thoughts I've had that have manifested in my life a bit later. Now that I know about LOA, though, I've paid attention to these things more and realized, oh, yeah, we talked about this, didn't we? As far as I'm concerned, there's no such thing as coincidence any more.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)