I Abdicate Responsibility for Others' Lives

I was feeling frustrated yesterday evening. I got home from work, talking under my breath about my husband who wants to start a new business but isn't doing the work to move forward. My son who says he wants to join the military but isn't studying for the ASVAB like the recruiter said to do. I was feeling so much responsiblity to push them, to make them move, make them take a step forward. After all, I'm their support system, right? Isn't that my job as a wife and a mother?

Suddenly I found myself in the middle of the kitchen, supper simmering on the stove behind me, and I yelled out - I give up all responsiblity for others' lives! Do you hear me? I abdicate all responsibility. It's up to them to do the work, it's up to them to live their lives and make their choices. There's nothing I can help them with at this point. They have to take the next step themselves and I abdicate responsiblity!

I felt so much better after this outburst. I have no idea where it came from or what led me to do it. I just knew it felt right and I finished making supper and spent the rest of my evening working on MY work instead of trying to do their work.

Who are you trying to "make" move in a certain direction? Let it go, abdicate responsibility, let them work it out, and go about your day.

Just Along for the Ride

Every time I feel like our manifestations are happening around us, then something else comes in makes me wonder, okay, what's going on here?

I mentioned before that my husband was up for a job. A good job. A good job making more money than we'd ever made. He interviewed, but then they moved the job to another city. After some discussion, we said we'd move, then nothing more was heard.

Then he was offered a part-time job with the same company, completely out of the blue. And now they're telling him there's a possibility of full-time work in this store.

Our affirmation for the job was a job in our town, paying $10 or more an hour, weekends off, day shift. We neglected to say "full-time", but it seems like that's working itself out :) And there could be a possibility in the future to move closer to hubby's family at another store.

But now I feel like we need to decide if we should continue this path of employment, buying a house, etc. or continue the other path of becoming self-employed, full-time travelers.

I know that there is no right or wrong choice. Both choices are correct. We can do both. We can do neither. We can do one at a time. I guess the answer will be right in front of us when it's time and we'll know what we want to do.

So I'm just along for the ride right now. I know that however it works out, it will be wonderful.

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Is there something you've been seeing manifest and you're waiting in expectation to see how GUS will provide? Please share a comment below.

Change your story

Everyone has a story. Usually it's about something that happened to you. You're the victim in the story. Someone did you wrong. Someone lied. Someone cheated you. Someone hurt you.

How many times have you told that story? Why do you want to share it? What are you getting out of it? There is always a personal reason that people tell a story. You may want sympathy or understanding. It may be the "one up" game. A friend tells you their story and you feel you have to top it. It goes like this:

"And that's what happened and I hate X and Y!"
"Well, that's nothing. This is what happened to me."

If you want to change your life and your attitudes, you have to change your story.

Refuse to tell it anymore. It's no longer a part of you. It's not going to define you anymore. You will no longer be a victim. Life will not happen TO you because you are going to make different things happen from now on.

A hard thing to accept is that what happens in life has been brought on by us. Our actions, our decisions, our attitudes -- all of that has brought you to the life you currently live. And that is hard to accept. But in accepting it, you can forgive yourself and come to love yourself again. It is very hard to actually forgive ourselves and love ourselves. It's actually easier to love another person and forgive another person than to do the same for ourselves.

That is why the backstory on this blog will be the ONLY time I'll be telling that story. Because that is not my story anymore. I am not a victim. I participate in my life. I create my life. No one does anything TO me. I attract people into my life that I want to be there. People to teach me something. People to care about me and for me to care about. You can do the same.

So stop telling your story. Don't even tell stories about bad customer service or travel delays or any other problem in your life. Don't give it energy. For example, if you have bad service at a restaurant and you tell your friends, your family, you post it on Facebook and Twitter and you keep bringing it up over and over again then you're not going to ever get good service at a restaurant. Stop the story. Change the energy.

Refuse to label yourself. Tell a new story. Talk about the great things in your life. Change your attitude to one of gratitude. As you tell a new story about the wonderful things in your life you will find that things will change. Good things will happen. By doing these things, you will find that no one will even bring up your past story because you will be a different person.

Affirmation:
I am a valuable, worthwhile, and special person.
I deserve to be loved and valued.
I attract positive, happy, energetic people to surround me.
I am thankful for my life, my job, my family, my pets -- continue as needed.

Now start living your new story. 

It's all going to be okay.

It is very hard when people you love are going through hard things. It's hard when you are going through the same things but trying to stay positive. It's hard to look for what feels good when so much is unknown and it seems as if things are out of control.

But as I learn more about LOA and deliberate creation I know that there truly is nothing out of my control. Maybe things don't go as planned. Maybe a water pipe bursts. Maybe a car accident. Maybe an unexpected medical diagnosis. But all of these things are still within our control because WE can control our reactions to them.

Are we going to sit and fume and worry and get upset or are we going to do what we can, and doing all, be still?

When someone we love and care about, whether they are a family member or dear friend, keeps wanting to stay in that place where they sit and fume and worry then we have to care for ourselves. There's nothing wrong with that. Sometimes we need to step away and do what feels good before we end up in that same funky space.

This is where you let them stay in their funk and you CHOOSE to leave that vibration. Do what you can for them, but there has to come a time when you step away, just for a moment, and CHOOSE to find your feel
good.

You are not responsible for another person's health and happiness. It doesn't mean leaving for good. It doesn't mean a divorce or never speaking to someone again or ending a friendship. It just means respecting your space. Find your feel good, get back into our alignment and know that everything is going to be okay.
No matter what the issue is -- It's going to be okay.

Believe that.

Choosing to Love

By now I've been remarried to my sweetheart for a week. And I am reminded daily of how much I am blessed, of how much I came close to losing.

I don't want to focus on the bad. I don't want to focus on who did what to whom or who was hurt more. There is no room in my life for blame anymore. All I can do is accept responsibility for myself. All I can do is keep my ears open for God's words and His leading. All I can do is be a better person, a better wife, a better mother. All I can do is my best.

So once again I will write out a list of things I am thankful for. I will always be thankful for my family. I will never take my husband or son for granted. I am thankful my parents are still living. I am thankful for my grandparents. I am thankful for the people that stood beside us and believed that love could overcome anything. And I am happy. I am very, very happy that God used this time in my life to show me that I don't need to be afraid. There is nothing to be afraid of because he is there, and no matter what happens in my life, he will be there. He will never leave me, he will never let me down. He is there, and no matter what, it will be okay.

Set aside a certain number of days, during which you shall be content with the scantiest and cheapest fare, with course and rough dress, saying to yourself the while: "Is this the condition that I feared?" -- Seneca

I have been through that dark time, when I thought all was lost. When my world crashed, when I felt no one could ever love me, when I couldn't love myself. And God brought me through. And he showed me there was nothing to fear. And as he helped me learn to love myself, as he showed me that He loved me and always would, that was how I was finally able to love another. And that is what I will do.

I choose to love.