Law of Attraction Awareness - Progress

I've had a couple of my books out since February under my pen name but nothing has really happened with them. I've sold a few, but I knew I needed more exposure. So I set an intention and asked. Yes, I believe
intentions can be statements or questions. I asked - What do I need to do next in order to let people know my stories are out? Send me information.

Soon after asking that I got an email from an indie publishing mailing list I'm on, asking for subscribers to ask any question they have regarding writing, indie publishing and marketing. So I asked - with a limited amount of time to write & promote, what would be the best use of my time?

Her answer was reviews. I needed to get some reviews on blogs, on Amazon, on Barnes and Noble.

Okay, but I didn't know how to do that. No one that had bought the books had left a review.

But that day - yes, that day - as I was going through my Twitter feed I noticed all these retweets from fellow authors. They included various blogs where they or friends were being reviewed. So I bookmarked the sites as I could, went to them when I was able, and read over the blog and the review policies.

I have multiple blog sites now in favorites, I've requested reviews from seven of them, been accepted for two so far, accepted two guest post spots in August on one, and joined a blog hop for August / September.

I don't know yet how this will affect my sales or if it even will. But it continues to amaze me what happens when all we do is ask.

There is no coincidence.

Positive Thinking - a process

There is always a process to changing your mindset. Just because I had to go through a divorce and life upheaval doesn't mean that you will. You can start right where you are. I'm just describing my process.

So as I'm grieving the loss of my marriage, my son leaving in April to stay with his grandparents, working essentially two jobs - I worked full time as well as kept the part-time transcription work going - I was reading. It seems as though whenever one book would end I would find another.

Sometimes I would read the book all the way through and it would resonate with me. Sometimes I would only read part of it. But everything made an impact on me and the process I was going through.

My goal was to feel better. My goal was to be successful at my dreams, with or without anyone else. I realized that since I was the only one who could control my actions, I was the only one that could make my
dreams come true. For too long I had depended on my husband to make my dreams come true. I had spent money on one thing after another, trying to be self supporting, but in reality it was money he had earned.
Money he had made working six days a week, working overtime just to keep the bills paid while I was working on my dreams. So I set out to find a way to make those dreams happen on my own.

I started out with Think and Grow Rich. This Napoleon Hill book is a classic by most self improvement gurus today. I obtained a lot of nuggets of wisdom in this book, even though it is outdated in many ways regarding the people discussed. But it did a lot in changing my attitude about things. Not just my attitude toward others, but also myself. I wanted to be more positive about everything.

One thing that is hard to accept in this process is that you cause your circumstances. Yes, you do. It doesn't matter who did what. It doesn't matter who hurt you. I knew that I could play the victim and no one would blame me. Maybe you can too. But it was my attitude that would draw these situtations to me. I could look back and see it happening. I would fight with my husband and threaten divorce. And what happened? We eventually divorced. I would fight with my son and want to be left alone. And he left me alone to stay with his
grandparents. I even had a running joke with my son. I'd call him smartass of the year. I even made him a certificate that said that. But I realized the more I studied LOA that I was causing the behavior. I didn't like his smartass behavior, but by calling attention to it, it would continue. So I no longer do that.

I realized that yes, my attitude was to blame. And no one could change it but me. This was something from Think and Grow Rich that hit me so hard about attitude -

You are who you are today because of your attitude with yourself and others.

And the natural ending to that hit me between the eyes - Who I will be TOMORROW is because of my attitude with myself and others. So if I wanted to be a better person tomorrow, I needed to change my
attitude TODAY.

Wow. That was a wake up call.

Backstory - Journey Begins

I've shared how I started out with discovering self forgiveness through the book The Love Dare. I also was reading my Bible. Psalms is where everyone needs to go when their world turns upside down. I was
praying constantly, journaling, looking for full time work. But little by little that despair began to dissipate.

It didn't go away overnight. No, there were still crying jags, there were still 3am phone calls to my mom. But as I started to think about how to rebuild my life there were times I knew something was happening. It all started with forgiving myself. Then I reached out to those I had hurt. I apologized where appropriate. I prayed for a lot of things.  Some things I probably shouldn't have prayed for, but when you are moving up and down the emotional scale from despair to anger you pray for some things out of anger. But I know that God knew my heart. And he continued to speak to me during this time.

This was also a time of turmoil for our teenage son. Every time I would see my ex husband or speak to him on the phone I would start crying. I was also dumping frustration, fear and anger on my son. So he told me in April that he was going to spend the summer with my family instead of staying with me. I can't say I blamed him. He needed the break from me and his dad. He left in April to stay with my family an hour and a half away.

During this time my ex and I were talking. The talks were sometimes good, sometimes bad. Even if not a fight, just spending time together was difficult. We had made plans to see certain movies together and it felt just wrong to see them apart. We had always done things as a family. And, yes, there was still a physical aspect to our relationship. But it hurt too much each time we saw each other. I know it hurt me a lot. It felt as though my heart were breaking every time we saw each other, every time I visited his apartment, every time we would do something and then go our separate ways. But every time I did that I believe I did get a little stronger. I was experiencing what LOA teachers call contrast. I was learning what I didn't want and it helped me clarify what I did want.

I did have to stop reading The Love Dare. It got to the point where it hurt too much to continue and I wasn't able to do all the exercises. But I did continue making amends where appropriate and I wanted to think more positively. I wanted to put my energy into something for me, something to help me continue to grow and change. I wanted to be a better person, not because I thought it would help me win back my husband, but because I knew I didn't want to be the woman I'd been for so many years.

I was feeling differently than I'd felt in the past. I had always said that if my husband left me, if we divorced, that I didn't believe I could make it. It would hurt too much. Well, it did hurt. But I was surviving. Not only surviving, but making it through. And if I could survive the loss of a 20 year marriage, what was there to be afraid of? So I continued my learning and growing, reading After the Locusts and Why You Do the Things You Do, sent to me by a friend who'd also gone through a divorce some years back.

Then I decided to finally read Think and Grow Rich. I'd had a copy of the ebook for a while as well as a hard copy of various essays written by Napoleon Hill and his partner, W. Clement Stone. It was also during this time that LOA entered my life, although I had no idea there was a name for it. Some call it the Universe or a Higher Power. But I knew it was God answering my prayers. I believe that this is how God works in my life, in all our lives. He works through the Law of Attraction.