No Accident Stories

My brother-in-law is a policeman. He's assigned to traffic duty, which means he spends the majority of his time doing various things like issuing traffic tickets but he also investigates accidents.

Each time we visit, we hear a new story about an accident. Sometimes they are funny, sometimes they are devastating. And I understand why he talks about them. To get some of what you see as a policeman out of your head, you need to talk.

But each time we've visited, we've either seen accidents while leaving town or had a few close calls -- someone merging into our lane and not seeing us or stopping suddenly.

We don't want to tell him not to tell the stories, but it is obviously reaching us in some way so that we manifest seeing or experiencing an accident of some type. This doesn't help me, since I have anxiety in large cities and in high traffic situations.

Before we go back for another visit, we have a plan set up to avoid accident stories and not let them come into our personal experience.

1. Set an intention that BIL will not discuss an accident.

Since we know that we are co-creating, BIL's intention may be stronger than ours, so --

2. If he does start a story, I will excuse myself to the kitchen or bathroom for a moment.

3. If still telling it when I return, we'll steer the subject to something else, something more positive.

4. Set intention that no matter what BIL says or believes - because with his job he's now seeing accidents everywhere, so it's now part of his belief system that they're inevitable - we will trust that we will be safe and that other drivers around us will also be safe.

Are there things that your friends or families discuss that you do not want as part of your belief system? How are you handling those situations?

Choosing to Love

By now I've been remarried to my sweetheart for a week. And I am reminded daily of how much I am blessed, of how much I came close to losing.

I don't want to focus on the bad. I don't want to focus on who did what to whom or who was hurt more. There is no room in my life for blame anymore. All I can do is accept responsibility for myself. All I can do is keep my ears open for God's words and His leading. All I can do is be a better person, a better wife, a better mother. All I can do is my best.

So once again I will write out a list of things I am thankful for. I will always be thankful for my family. I will never take my husband or son for granted. I am thankful my parents are still living. I am thankful for my grandparents. I am thankful for the people that stood beside us and believed that love could overcome anything. And I am happy. I am very, very happy that God used this time in my life to show me that I don't need to be afraid. There is nothing to be afraid of because he is there, and no matter what happens in my life, he will be there. He will never leave me, he will never let me down. He is there, and no matter what, it will be okay.

Set aside a certain number of days, during which you shall be content with the scantiest and cheapest fare, with course and rough dress, saying to yourself the while: "Is this the condition that I feared?" -- Seneca

I have been through that dark time, when I thought all was lost. When my world crashed, when I felt no one could ever love me, when I couldn't love myself. And God brought me through. And he showed me there was nothing to fear. And as he helped me learn to love myself, as he showed me that He loved me and always would, that was how I was finally able to love another. And that is what I will do.

I choose to love.