My $100,000 Check - A Promise to Myself

I don't know if I've written about my $100,000 check before.

When I first read Think and Grow Rich last year, the main point was to have a tangible, set goal for what you wanted to achieve. My goal is to be a successful writer earning $100,000 a year by my 45th birthday. That will be July 16, 2016.

(Yes, I will be 41 on Monday. Happy Birthday to me :) )

I found an image of a blank check online. You can actually find these now on The Secret's website or buy some from TUT as well. But I just used Google Image Search, found a blank check photo and used Paint to edit it.

I made it out to myself, dated it July 16, 2016, and then signed it "Law of Attraction."

Here's a picture:

I carry this with me in my purse. Every now and again when I'm looking for something I'll find it in the side pocket. It reminds me that I'm working toward my dreams and they are coming true.

How are you reminding yourself that your dreams are coming true?

Book - The Pledge - Your Master Plan for an Abundant Life

As part of a private work project I was able to read The Pledge - Your Master Plan for an Abundant Life, by Michael Masterson, and take some notes on it. At first, reading the title, I thought, Oh, this is going to be a very interesting book to read, can't wait to see his method of using Law of Attraction. I guess I've become so used to LOA being in pretty much anything I read or watch or even do. I've even dreamed of TV shows I watch using intentions and other aspects of the Law of Attraction in their stories.

The book is not even close to being a Law of Attraction book. And that is fine. It doesn't have to be. But it's not the right book for me.

Masterson basically wants you to break your goals into down, starting at a big goal seven years out. Then you break it down into annual goals, monthly objectives and tasks. Basically the tasks you do today will support your monthly objectives which supports your annual goals which support your seven-year goal.

The book recommends writing down your goals and creating a plan. The plan includes getting up early - 4:30 or 5:00 am was highly recommended, eating right, minimizing distractions in your work day, and planning the work you will do and the work you will delegate.

There is nothing wrong with any of that. Think and Grow Rich recommended setting a goal or having a desire you wanted to reach. However, there was a lot in The Pledge that just didn't appeal to me. I guess I should say - the new me.

The old me, prior to learning about the Law of Attraction, would be all over this book. I would have a notebook already filled with my goals and objectives and tasks. But I no longer believe I have to do any of that stuff to make my dreams come true.

Do I believe in taking action? Yes, I do. But I believe more in inspired action.

I know that sounds funny. If my ultimate desire (re: Think and Grow Rich) is to be a writer (specifically a romance writer published with Harlequin), how will I sell anything if all I do is "wait" to be inspired?

Well, when I am inspired I don't wait. I have learned not to question those flashes of inspiration. The first short story I sold was inspired. I wrote it in two hours. Another short story I have finished was inspired by a dream that I had. I wrote it in two hours as well. I have submitted it, but it was rejected. However, that is only the opinion of one publication. There are more out there and there are other options for me. I know it's a good story, I have faith in that, and I am not giving up on it. I fully believe it was inspired.

Masterson states that positive thinking doesn't work for 90 percent of the people who practice it. I would be interested to know how he got that number. I would be interested to know why he believes that.

I believe it's because Masterson is looking for a specific outcome. He wants to help people become rich. That is a worthwhile goal. Napoleon Hill and many other writers wanted the same thing. However, one thing I have learned is that most people who practice positive thinking, affirmations, the Law of Attraction -- it comes to the point where they don't necessarily care about material wealth. That may have been a focus at the beginning of the journey, but not always.

For me, positive thinking was a way to help me feel better, to help me become a better person. I believe that I am doing that, I have done that. So in my case, because I am not wealthy by Masterson's standards, have I failed?

Besides, you could say I've even accomplished my desire - to be a published writer. After all, my story was sold and will be published. So I can say, with all fact and truth, I am a published writer. 

To illustrate this further, think about a competition, like the Olympics. There is one gold medal and many competitors. Only one person can bring home the gold medal. But that may not truly matter to every person in the competition.

One person wants to win the gold.
One person wants to place in the top three.
One person is just thrilled to be in the Olympics.

This is part of the Law of Attraction. In this way, everyone can have their way. We live in an AND world, not an EITHER / OR world.

We can have our cake and eat it too.
We can have chocolate and lose weight.
We can earn money doing something we love.
We can goof off and still make a living.

That is what I believe.

Look at competitions such as American Idol. I have never watched one episode of American Idol, but I am familiar with some of the winners. I am also familiar with some of the losers, such as Kellie Pickler. I had no idea she'd even been a contestant on the show. I believe that for many of the competitors on American Idol their goal was not to win the title but to have a career in music. And that is what happened. They did not fail by losing the competition. They reached their goal in a different way.

And as I neared the end of the book, Masterson says this:

"Every idea, strategy and technique I shared with you has been proven repeatedly through my personal experience. I know it works, because it worked for me."

And that is the clincher. It worked for him because he BELIEVED that it would. Masterson shares how all of this started as he graduated high school and was basically told that he wouldn't amount to anything. He chose at that moment to not believe that assessment of his high school guidance counselor. He took INSPIRED action to turn his life around. In  my opinion, that is LOA in action.

So if Michael Masterson believes that you have to write out seven year goals, annual goals, monthly objectives and daily tasks in order to succeed, then that is what his reality will be -- because he BELIEVES it to be that way. 

Personally, I feel that it's a lot of work. I don't want to do all of that work anymore. I don't want to live by goals and checklists and forms and worry about accomplishing my goals. 

So how am I going to finish a book to submit to Harlequin within the next six months (my New Year's / solstice resolution) without following checklists and goals and daily word counts and worrying if the story is good enough for them to buy?

Well, I may not. By July I may only have 25,000 words instead of 50,000. But that's okay. 

I may end up writing a few more short stories instead, selling them or publishing them on my own. And that's okay. 

I like to keep a word count of 1000 words a day, five days a week. It's doable for me. If I want to do more, I will. If I choose to do less, I will. And it's okay. 

And worry if the story is good? Well, good for whom? Harlequin editors? Romance novel readers? I can't think about them right now. The story's not even written yet, so who cares? Besides, I believe it's a good story. My only job is to get it on paper. That's all. I give myself permission to write poorly. I give myself permission to want to stop and start over. But I will continue and I will press forward until I finish. 

And however it ends up, that's okay. 

Michael Masterson may disagree, but that's okay too.

Selling my first story

I have stated before that being a successful writer is my main purpose. That is how I ultimately want to make my living. I determined on this goal after reading Think and Grow Rich. When I read The Secret, however, I understood that I do not have to be tied to just one goal. Of course not. People want different things at different times. But for my livelihood and income, my goal is to be a successful writer.

After reading Connie Domino's Law of Attraction, I wrote an affirmation (or intention) for this year.

Thank you that I have earned $1,000 in writing income by August 31, 2012.

I started writing articles for Yahoo! Contributor Network (under my real name) and I'd written two stories under my pen name. One story did not sell. Two days after I wrote the other story, there was a call for submissions for a new anthology and I knew my new story would fit. This was in May. So I wrote the story at the end of April by inspiration. The first week of May I saw the call for submission for a theme that my story would fit into. See how Law of Attraction was kicking in even though I didn't really ask?

I did not hear back for months, so I was assuming it was a no. I decided to check my pen name's email one day and found an acceptance for my story - it was a week old. That email had actually been sent the day AFTER I wrote my affirmation in August. I just didn't check my email for almost two weeks.

I'm glad I checked it, because it was accepted if I could change the story somewhat. But she had to know soon. By the time I'd checked my email, I only had five days to respond.

I had no problem with changing the plot. The integrity of the story would be the same. I did the rewrite and sent it in the following day. Since then edits have been done and bios have been sent in. Contracts will be going out soon and the book should be published within the next two months.

Now this is not a big New York publisher. This is a small press that publishes erotic romance, which is what I primarily write under my pen name. The money is not great, but it's a step toward my goal of $1,000 this year and eventually $100,000 a year, with the amount increasing annually after that.

I believe this story sold other than the first one because it was inspired. I sat down to write and the words flew. I finished in less than three hours. In comparison, my first story was written due to seeing a call for submissions on a particular topic. While I still believe the story is good and I may do something with it myself later on, I felt that it was written too much like an assignment. Here's the topic, now turn something in. So my second story was much better to me because of the inspiration behind it. I wrote it just for the joy of writing.



I was recently inspired again the other day by a dream I had. I frequently have "story dreams". They're almost like watching a movie. So that is the inspiration for my next story. And I know that when it's ready there will be a desire for it as well. And so I will continue toward my goal of being a successful writer.

I have decided at this point that I will only write by inspiration. That doesn't mean I won't write daily on my work in progress. It means I won't write based on assignments. I won't write based on calls to submission. I will write what I am inspired to write and I will find a publisher who wants it or I will publish it myself. This feels right to me and I know that by doing this I will succeed.

Affirmations, tools, and LOA

Since reading Think and Grow Rich and other Napoleon Hill books, The Secret and Connie Domino's The Law of Attraction, I have used affirmations. But there was a point when I was reading The Good Vibe Blog that I asked myself, am I doing this LOA thing right? And just as quickly I realized, there is no right way. The Law of Attraction just is.

While I don't need an affirmation for something to happen, I do find it helpful - for me - because they help me to remember to speak in positive words instead of negative. Connie Domino's book was very helpful with that. One of her steps is thinking of negative things that are going to come up and turning them around into positive affirmations. And that has helped a lot. Whenever I begin to think about something and it turns negative I use her tips to turn my thinking around.

According to Think and Grow Rich, we're supposed to have one specific purpose to work towards. The book typically is written for those looking for a specific type of work or lifestyle. And I did choose my specific purpose as related to work. I want to make a living as a full time writer. And I focused on that for a while. I even have a goal statement written out and attached to a bulletin board. But while the book says to repeat that statement every day, I stopped doing that a while ago.

Why?

Because I've already put that request out there. I already know that is my dream. I don't have to request it again and again. And at this point in life I'm not going to forget it. So I will glance at that goal statement every now and again, and I will read it, and I will feel happy because I know it's coming true.

I did affirmations for our new house as well. I was reciting the affirmations multiple times a day and I felt wonderful, knowing that the new rental house was on its way. We did get sidetracked at one point as we thought about buying some land that came available, but that fell through. I believe it was for a reason and I'll elaborate more later. But I was affirming the house so often that I had a dream one night about finding a wonderful, beautiful house to rent in our price range. That dream, to me, was an answer, telling me that it was
on the way. And we got it sooner than I'd asked for as well. It's not exactly what I affirmed, but sometimes I believe that the essence of what we ask for is what is granted, not the actual item.

So the final word on affirmations is this - use them or not. If it feels like work, stop using them. The same goes for all types of tools and rituals some LOA coaches want you to do, such as vision boards or writing exercises. Do what feels good to you.

I have a white board in my computer room with ASK, BELIEVE, RECIEVE written at the top. As I think of things that I want in my life - not just physical things - I write on the board. And as I glance at the board and read what I've written I thank God for those things coming into my life.

One example is selling some land. We had some land attached to our previous house that was still in our name. It was only 2 acres and was landlocked. There was no use for anyone to have it except those who
bought our old property or the neighbors. We'd priced it at $5,000 to the person who bought our property and he said he'd get back with us.

Well, during the tornadoes that hit the south in April 2011 the house was damaged and the people didn't even know if they were going to stay or not. I told them that we would sell the property for $1000 if they decided to stay and still wanted it. I didn't hear anything for a month. I wrote this affirmation on the board:

Land sells by September 30, 2011.

I had a specific date because our lease was up in October and we needed the money for moving expenses in October.

The land sold and closed in mid August.

I don't believe that using the white board or any other type of manifesting tools are magical. I think that our words do have power, and for me, writing on the board was a way of clarifying what I wanted to happen. And that's all the tools are to me - a way to clarify. So, again, use affirmations or don't. Use a white board or don't. Use vision boards or don't. Use whatever feels good and right to you. The Law of Attraction is there and it will work. I'm sure that now that you're aware of it you can look back on your life and see times that
it worked and you hadn't done anything. I know that I can. Other times you may want to take inspired action and that is okay too. There is no one way, no "right" way to use the Law of Attraction. It just is.

Positive Thinking - a process

There is always a process to changing your mindset. Just because I had to go through a divorce and life upheaval doesn't mean that you will. You can start right where you are. I'm just describing my process.

So as I'm grieving the loss of my marriage, my son leaving in April to stay with his grandparents, working essentially two jobs - I worked full time as well as kept the part-time transcription work going - I was reading. It seems as though whenever one book would end I would find another.

Sometimes I would read the book all the way through and it would resonate with me. Sometimes I would only read part of it. But everything made an impact on me and the process I was going through.

My goal was to feel better. My goal was to be successful at my dreams, with or without anyone else. I realized that since I was the only one who could control my actions, I was the only one that could make my
dreams come true. For too long I had depended on my husband to make my dreams come true. I had spent money on one thing after another, trying to be self supporting, but in reality it was money he had earned.
Money he had made working six days a week, working overtime just to keep the bills paid while I was working on my dreams. So I set out to find a way to make those dreams happen on my own.

I started out with Think and Grow Rich. This Napoleon Hill book is a classic by most self improvement gurus today. I obtained a lot of nuggets of wisdom in this book, even though it is outdated in many ways regarding the people discussed. But it did a lot in changing my attitude about things. Not just my attitude toward others, but also myself. I wanted to be more positive about everything.

One thing that is hard to accept in this process is that you cause your circumstances. Yes, you do. It doesn't matter who did what. It doesn't matter who hurt you. I knew that I could play the victim and no one would blame me. Maybe you can too. But it was my attitude that would draw these situtations to me. I could look back and see it happening. I would fight with my husband and threaten divorce. And what happened? We eventually divorced. I would fight with my son and want to be left alone. And he left me alone to stay with his
grandparents. I even had a running joke with my son. I'd call him smartass of the year. I even made him a certificate that said that. But I realized the more I studied LOA that I was causing the behavior. I didn't like his smartass behavior, but by calling attention to it, it would continue. So I no longer do that.

I realized that yes, my attitude was to blame. And no one could change it but me. This was something from Think and Grow Rich that hit me so hard about attitude -

You are who you are today because of your attitude with yourself and others.

And the natural ending to that hit me between the eyes - Who I will be TOMORROW is because of my attitude with myself and others. So if I wanted to be a better person tomorrow, I needed to change my
attitude TODAY.

Wow. That was a wake up call.

Backstory - Journey Begins

I've shared how I started out with discovering self forgiveness through the book The Love Dare. I also was reading my Bible. Psalms is where everyone needs to go when their world turns upside down. I was
praying constantly, journaling, looking for full time work. But little by little that despair began to dissipate.

It didn't go away overnight. No, there were still crying jags, there were still 3am phone calls to my mom. But as I started to think about how to rebuild my life there were times I knew something was happening. It all started with forgiving myself. Then I reached out to those I had hurt. I apologized where appropriate. I prayed for a lot of things.  Some things I probably shouldn't have prayed for, but when you are moving up and down the emotional scale from despair to anger you pray for some things out of anger. But I know that God knew my heart. And he continued to speak to me during this time.

This was also a time of turmoil for our teenage son. Every time I would see my ex husband or speak to him on the phone I would start crying. I was also dumping frustration, fear and anger on my son. So he told me in April that he was going to spend the summer with my family instead of staying with me. I can't say I blamed him. He needed the break from me and his dad. He left in April to stay with my family an hour and a half away.

During this time my ex and I were talking. The talks were sometimes good, sometimes bad. Even if not a fight, just spending time together was difficult. We had made plans to see certain movies together and it felt just wrong to see them apart. We had always done things as a family. And, yes, there was still a physical aspect to our relationship. But it hurt too much each time we saw each other. I know it hurt me a lot. It felt as though my heart were breaking every time we saw each other, every time I visited his apartment, every time we would do something and then go our separate ways. But every time I did that I believe I did get a little stronger. I was experiencing what LOA teachers call contrast. I was learning what I didn't want and it helped me clarify what I did want.

I did have to stop reading The Love Dare. It got to the point where it hurt too much to continue and I wasn't able to do all the exercises. But I did continue making amends where appropriate and I wanted to think more positively. I wanted to put my energy into something for me, something to help me continue to grow and change. I wanted to be a better person, not because I thought it would help me win back my husband, but because I knew I didn't want to be the woman I'd been for so many years.

I was feeling differently than I'd felt in the past. I had always said that if my husband left me, if we divorced, that I didn't believe I could make it. It would hurt too much. Well, it did hurt. But I was surviving. Not only surviving, but making it through. And if I could survive the loss of a 20 year marriage, what was there to be afraid of? So I continued my learning and growing, reading After the Locusts and Why You Do the Things You Do, sent to me by a friend who'd also gone through a divorce some years back.

Then I decided to finally read Think and Grow Rich. I'd had a copy of the ebook for a while as well as a hard copy of various essays written by Napoleon Hill and his partner, W. Clement Stone. It was also during this time that LOA entered my life, although I had no idea there was a name for it. Some call it the Universe or a Higher Power. But I knew it was God answering my prayers. I believe that this is how God works in my life, in all our lives. He works through the Law of Attraction.