Use Your Anger

Too many times those of us who know about the Law of Attraction and positive thinking, especially those who resonate with Abraham Hicks, want to be in the vortex, want to feel good, want to have positive feelings. But when you don't have positive feelings, when you are angry, frustrated, upset, mad as hell - then what do you do?

Use them. Use your emotions. They are part of being human after all. Here are the steps I take to help get through a bad mood and get to the other side.

Name It and Claim It

The best way I've found to get out of a funk about something is to name it and claim it. Get it out there. Accept that you feel angry or frustrated or mad. And don't sugar coat it. Don't say you're "upset" when you're really mad-as-hell furious. Yell it out if you have to. But use those feelings and get to the other side of your bad mood. Use those feelings for positive change.

So name your feelings, out loud. "I am angry. I am frustrated. I am tired of feeling used. I am worn out. I am furious."

Say what you're angry or upset about. Be specific. Say it out loud. "I am tired of doing something and having it never be right. I am tired of not being listened to. I am tired of doing one thing and then having the rules changed on me."

Feel Your Feelings

Take a deep breath and really FEEL your feelings. Allow them to be there and allow yourself to feel them. There is nothing wrong with feeling what you feel. You DO NOT ever have to justify your feelings. You feel how you feel, period.

Determine What You Do Want, Not What You Don't Want

After a few deep breaths, think about what you DO want. You've spelled out what you don't want. You've named your feelings. Now, tell GUS (God, Universe, Spirit) what you do want. "I want to be listened to. I want to be taken seriously. I want to be appreciated. I believe I am doing my best."

Affirmations / Intentions

Say an affirmation - what do you want to actually happen. Because it can and it will. "I want Jack and Jill to listen to me, take my words seriously, and have a conversation where all sides are heard and respected." Finish by taking a few more deep breaths.

Repeat as Needed

Repeat throughout the day, as much as you need to. But if you really want to end your bad mood, your funk, you can't keep repeating it to yourself, your significant other, your best friend or your coworkers. You need to release it. Say your affirmations, breath deep, and release it.

Time Your Complaints

If you MUST let it out, then complain for 15 minutes only. You can do this for yourself or with a person that is compassionate and supportive. But stop at 15 minutes. And don't bring it up again. Doing that will only bring the bad feelings up again and you'll be right back in your mood.

Take Inspired Action

Now you can use that mood for some inspired action. Don't be an idiot, though, and quit your job, cheat on a spouse, file for divorce or yell at your kids. You want to do something positive with that energy, such as:

Fill out a job application somewhere else.
Write the outline to the novel you've always wanted to write.
Write out an email to the person you're mad at and then delete it - or send it to yourself and then delete it.
Go out to dinner.

Real Life - Determining What I Wanted and Inspired Action

Here is a real life example of using emotion to get something better.

Several years ago I took a job as a dishwasher. I did not like the job but it was a job and I needed the money. One day the general manager of the restaurant / club came through and said I was doing a good job, I could be promoted to cook. If that was a promotion, I thought, I don't want it. So that very day I went to the employment office next door - while still in my wet, smelly uniform - and applied for a job at the library down the street.

I got the job.

Moral of the Story

Use your emotions to determine what you really want. Don't hide from them.

Letting go of a bad mood

Yes, even in Law of Attraction world there will be bad moods. We are human. We cannot escape completely from emotion. After all, our vibration and our manifesting depends on our emotion, our feelings. But holding on to a bad feeling doesn't help us down the road.

As I am in this process right now - what better time to blog about it, right? - these are the steps I'm taking to release the mood.

1. Admit and allow my feelings. Too many times people following LOA will get into a positive thinking mindset and will try to squash any type of bad feeling that comes up. In my opinion, that's a mistake
because it will eventually rear its head again, usually causing things to be much worse. So admit your feelings and allow them.

To do that, I am trying to name my feelings.

Right now, I am frustrated that I could not find my office keys this morning. I am upset knowing that my supervisor is upset with me - I didn't call her - and I'm fairly sure this will be another note in the "secret" file she has in her desk (Yes, I know about the file. No, I did not find it deliberately).

I am angry with my husband because he got frustrated with me for misplacing the keys and he's now bringing up other things he's frustrated with me for. This further angers me because he's bringing up things not related to the main issue - the lost keys.

I am feeling anger, frustration, resentment.

Can I do anything about it?

2. I need to move up the emotional ladder. I've already named my feelings, so I am clarifying what I want -

I want to feel better as I go through the day.
I want to find my keys.
I want issues with my supervisor to be out in the open.
I want issues with my husband to be resolved.

I have named my feelings and allowed myself to experience them. I've been experiencing them pretty much all morning, in fact. And now I'm tired of it. So it's time to stop. I know it's difficult to just stop having a bad feeling, so here is what I did.

3. Inspired Action - This is whatever you can do to pivot your feelings and feel better. You're not looking to jump from the bottom of the emotional scale to the top. You're looking to just feel better. A bit of ho-oponopono helps out with feelings with my husband. This is an Hawaiian mantra that can be repeated, asking for forgiveness.

I LOVE YOU
I AM SORRY
PLEASE FORGIVE ME
THANK YOU

I set a couple of intentions.

I intend that my keys will be found tonight.
I intend that the file J has will be brought out and past issues will be resolved soon, in a meeting with a third party.
I intend that any future issues will be handled immediately, without any need for a "secret" file to be kept.
I did a blessings check - what am I thankful for?

4. Release the feelings. Now that I've said the intentions and offered an apology, it's time to let it go. Releasing can be something as making a decision to choose to feel better. It can be doing a couple of yoga moves, such as a sun salutation. It can be as simple as taking a couple of deep breaths. It can be prepaving the next segment of your day. It can be taking a break, getting away from the situation for a moment.

And yes, I am feeling better. And I intend that the rest of my day will go well.

*Note* The keys were found that night in the jacket pocket I had worn the Friday before.

Moving up the emotional ladder - feel better

So when you're frustrated, angry, embarrassed, upset or any other number of negative emotions, what can you do in order to get the right energy flowing again?

It's not possible to jump from despair to joy, although I did jump up a lot the night I watched the Secret and made my gratitude list.

Here is Abraham Hicks' list of emotions from the book, Ask and It Is Given. You want to try to be at the top of the list as much as possible.

1. Joy/Appreciation/Empowered/Freedom/Love
2. Passion
3. Enthusiasm/Eagerness/Happiness
4. Positive Expectation/Belief
5. Optimism
6. Hopefulness
7. Contentment
8. Boredom
9. Pessimism
10. Frustration/Irritation/Impatience
11. Overwhelment
12. Disappointment
13. Doubt
14. Worry
15. Blame
16. Discouragement
17. Anger
18. Revenge
19. Hatred/Rage
20. Jealousy
21. Insecurity/Guilt/Unworthiness
22. Fear/Grief/Depression/Despair/Powerlessness

So right now I'm at about a 10, dealing with issues with a water leak and no one coming to fix it today, trying to get over bronchitis and still having a chronic cough, and I was embarrassed at the hair salon today due to the previously mentioned coughing which caused another embarrassing personal issue. So now I'm feeling frustrated that we have no water, no one came to fix the water as we were told they would, I'm still feeling sick despite taking medicine for a week and two trips to Urgent Care, and I'm feeling embarrassed because of what happened at the salon as well as thinking my new hair color looks silly on me. So how can I feel better?

I have named my feelings. Frustration, embarrassment, feeling silly. I name them and accept them. You should always accept your feelings and admit you have them. You will have feelings, good and bad. So don't be scared of negative emotions during your LOA journey. Accepting them will help you release them sooner.

Then I talk it out. I like to talk it out with God. It's nice to be alone in a car or in your house so no one thinks you're strange. If appropriate, I talk it out with my sweetheart or a friend. But I don't really want them to fix anything or join in a pity party or even do the one up game (You think you had a bad day? Let me tell you about mine!) So I like to talk things up with someone who will listen, let me vent, then say, "Let's watch a funny movie," or "Let's eat some ice cream," and not bring it up again.

So during my little talk with God, the following comes to me about each situation. We're working with the water issues and there's nothing that can be done any further at this point. We have water in plastic tubs, we have some clean dishes and laundry. Most likely we'll turn water on tomorrow to take a hot shower, then turn it off again. But I'm sure the leak will be fixed by Monday. So I'm allowing that I'm irritated, I've done what I can, so there's nothing else to worry about concerning the water.

The Urgent Care doctor said I was getting better, the meds are helping, my lungs are just inflamed from the coughing. So I just need to keep taking my cough medicine, do what I can to control the coughing, and stop thinking about it and giving it energy.

Just before I had the coughing fit at the hair salon, I'd just been thinking how much better I felt, how I hadn't been coughing that much, how much fun I was having there, getting my hair shampooed, cut and colored. Then the attack came, and the more I tried to stop it the worse it got. I coughed for maybe five minutes right in the middle of a busy salon.

So what? That's what I'm say. I will go back there but since it will most likely be about one or two months from now I doubt he'll really remember me. And the people that were there - I'll never see them again, they'll never see me again. So while it was embarrassing in the moment, there's no reason to hold on to that feeling. So I am releasing that feeling and remembering the good feelings. There is nothing like someone else shampooing your hair. Or the feeling of treating yourself. And remember - all money put into circulation is coming back to us tenfold, so don't worry about that. And I supported a local business, not a chain store.

And as far as feeling like the color looks silly, well, I'm sure that's being overshadowed by my feelings of embarrassment. My sweetheart likes it. And I'm sure after a few days it will grow on me and I won't feel that way. It's always difficult when you change something like hair color, especially when you make a dramatic change - I went from brown to blond. And if I don't like it after a while, well, hair grows and color can be changed.



So at this point I am saying what feels better? What feels good to do?

What felt better to me was eating some dinner with my sweetie, where he complimented my hair. I'm getting a Mary Kay makeover done tomorrow, so I'm looking forward to that. We're going to get our bedroom and living room organized tonight while watching a DVD, so that feels good.

So I'm going to do what feels good, release the other stuff, and get back in alignment. If it comes up again, I'll turn my mental train around, say "So what?" and move on to the next feel good thing.

I hope this can help you do the same.