What I got from Four Hour Work Week

The book was interesting and it did lead me to clarify some things about my life. It made me think about my time and what I'm good at, what I'd rather be doing. I don't think I'm going to get a VA from India, as that goes against my values. If I were to hire an assistant, which I most likely will do when I become a successful author, I will hire someone from the US, either a VA or a local person to work with directly.

But I have decided on a few things based on the book. Again, I have to remind myself it's not action that matters. It's how I feel about things.

First, I know it's time to stop my evening transcription service. I want to spend that time on my writing, time with my family and other interests. That feels right.

I also want to see what can be automated more so that I don't have to feel like I'm doing everything. Some ideas were:

Maid service twice a month. Look into cost and see about fitting into budget.
Setting up everything on automatic bill pay.
Taking turns with family members on making meals.
Preparing work clothes ahead of time. For example, hang up a week's
worth of outfits, with some options for weather available, in the
closet, ready to go. Have accessories and everything else needed on
hand as well.
Limit time spent on things like television, Facebook, etc.
Go to bed / get up earlier.
Leave 10 minutes earlier than needed for appointments.

While the book's main purpose seems to be to lead people to finding a way to earn money without a traditional job and travel all over the world, that is not a primary goal for me, although I do want to travel. My ultimate goal is to live a wonderful, beautiful, abundant and creative life. And I know that being able to cut some of the day to day stuff from my life will free me up to follow creative pursuits and spend time with people I love. And that feels right to me.

Choosing to Love

By now I've been remarried to my sweetheart for a week. And I am reminded daily of how much I am blessed, of how much I came close to losing.

I don't want to focus on the bad. I don't want to focus on who did what to whom or who was hurt more. There is no room in my life for blame anymore. All I can do is accept responsibility for myself. All I can do is keep my ears open for God's words and His leading. All I can do is be a better person, a better wife, a better mother. All I can do is my best.

So once again I will write out a list of things I am thankful for. I will always be thankful for my family. I will never take my husband or son for granted. I am thankful my parents are still living. I am thankful for my grandparents. I am thankful for the people that stood beside us and believed that love could overcome anything. And I am happy. I am very, very happy that God used this time in my life to show me that I don't need to be afraid. There is nothing to be afraid of because he is there, and no matter what happens in my life, he will be there. He will never leave me, he will never let me down. He is there, and no matter what, it will be okay.

Set aside a certain number of days, during which you shall be content with the scantiest and cheapest fare, with course and rough dress, saying to yourself the while: "Is this the condition that I feared?" -- Seneca

I have been through that dark time, when I thought all was lost. When my world crashed, when I felt no one could ever love me, when I couldn't love myself. And God brought me through. And he showed me there was nothing to fear. And as he helped me learn to love myself, as he showed me that He loved me and always would, that was how I was finally able to love another. And that is what I will do.

I choose to love.

How do I feel?

As I said I'm reading the 4 Hour Work Week. And I'm feeling excited and happy and positive, but I'm also feeling scared. And whenever I feel like this I know I need to back off a little bit. I'm trying to do things differently. And one thing that all LOA people / deliberate creators need to think about is this:

How do I feel.

It's feelings that go along with our creation. Our actions don't really matter. It's the feelings attached to the actions.

So I feel I need to slow down. I don't want to go full steam ahead and spend money and start the whole cycle that was a big part of ruining my marriage up again.

I like that the book is giving rules when it comes to our "muse", which Tim Ferriss calls a business. So I'm going to take the rules to heart and slow down. Nothing says I have to start right now. I also don't need to take my eye off my goal - to be a successful writer. Or my even bigger goal - to live a wonderful, beautiful,
creative life. One that I already feel I am living, even in the context of working at an entry level assistant position at 40 years old. So why change anything?

Because I don't want to work at an entry level assistant position for the next 27 years before I can retire. A big part of my wonderful, beautiful creative life includes having an income that I don't have to be concerned about.

So I'll finish the book. I'll do the research. I'll slow down. And I'll use prayer and faith and LOA to warn me if I'm heading too far off the path.

Moving up the emotional ladder - feel better

So when you're frustrated, angry, embarrassed, upset or any other number of negative emotions, what can you do in order to get the right energy flowing again?

It's not possible to jump from despair to joy, although I did jump up a lot the night I watched the Secret and made my gratitude list.

Here is Abraham Hicks' list of emotions from the book, Ask and It Is Given. You want to try to be at the top of the list as much as possible.

1. Joy/Appreciation/Empowered/Freedom/Love
2. Passion
3. Enthusiasm/Eagerness/Happiness
4. Positive Expectation/Belief
5. Optimism
6. Hopefulness
7. Contentment
8. Boredom
9. Pessimism
10. Frustration/Irritation/Impatience
11. Overwhelment
12. Disappointment
13. Doubt
14. Worry
15. Blame
16. Discouragement
17. Anger
18. Revenge
19. Hatred/Rage
20. Jealousy
21. Insecurity/Guilt/Unworthiness
22. Fear/Grief/Depression/Despair/Powerlessness

So right now I'm at about a 10, dealing with issues with a water leak and no one coming to fix it today, trying to get over bronchitis and still having a chronic cough, and I was embarrassed at the hair salon today due to the previously mentioned coughing which caused another embarrassing personal issue. So now I'm feeling frustrated that we have no water, no one came to fix the water as we were told they would, I'm still feeling sick despite taking medicine for a week and two trips to Urgent Care, and I'm feeling embarrassed because of what happened at the salon as well as thinking my new hair color looks silly on me. So how can I feel better?

I have named my feelings. Frustration, embarrassment, feeling silly. I name them and accept them. You should always accept your feelings and admit you have them. You will have feelings, good and bad. So don't be scared of negative emotions during your LOA journey. Accepting them will help you release them sooner.

Then I talk it out. I like to talk it out with God. It's nice to be alone in a car or in your house so no one thinks you're strange. If appropriate, I talk it out with my sweetheart or a friend. But I don't really want them to fix anything or join in a pity party or even do the one up game (You think you had a bad day? Let me tell you about mine!) So I like to talk things up with someone who will listen, let me vent, then say, "Let's watch a funny movie," or "Let's eat some ice cream," and not bring it up again.

So during my little talk with God, the following comes to me about each situation. We're working with the water issues and there's nothing that can be done any further at this point. We have water in plastic tubs, we have some clean dishes and laundry. Most likely we'll turn water on tomorrow to take a hot shower, then turn it off again. But I'm sure the leak will be fixed by Monday. So I'm allowing that I'm irritated, I've done what I can, so there's nothing else to worry about concerning the water.

The Urgent Care doctor said I was getting better, the meds are helping, my lungs are just inflamed from the coughing. So I just need to keep taking my cough medicine, do what I can to control the coughing, and stop thinking about it and giving it energy.

Just before I had the coughing fit at the hair salon, I'd just been thinking how much better I felt, how I hadn't been coughing that much, how much fun I was having there, getting my hair shampooed, cut and colored. Then the attack came, and the more I tried to stop it the worse it got. I coughed for maybe five minutes right in the middle of a busy salon.

So what? That's what I'm say. I will go back there but since it will most likely be about one or two months from now I doubt he'll really remember me. And the people that were there - I'll never see them again, they'll never see me again. So while it was embarrassing in the moment, there's no reason to hold on to that feeling. So I am releasing that feeling and remembering the good feelings. There is nothing like someone else shampooing your hair. Or the feeling of treating yourself. And remember - all money put into circulation is coming back to us tenfold, so don't worry about that. And I supported a local business, not a chain store.

And as far as feeling like the color looks silly, well, I'm sure that's being overshadowed by my feelings of embarrassment. My sweetheart likes it. And I'm sure after a few days it will grow on me and I won't feel that way. It's always difficult when you change something like hair color, especially when you make a dramatic change - I went from brown to blond. And if I don't like it after a while, well, hair grows and color can be changed.



So at this point I am saying what feels better? What feels good to do?

What felt better to me was eating some dinner with my sweetie, where he complimented my hair. I'm getting a Mary Kay makeover done tomorrow, so I'm looking forward to that. We're going to get our bedroom and living room organized tonight while watching a DVD, so that feels good.

So I'm going to do what feels good, release the other stuff, and get back in alignment. If it comes up again, I'll turn my mental train around, say "So what?" and move on to the next feel good thing.

I hope this can help you do the same.

4 Hour Work Week

I'm reading this book now and wow - the first exercise is scary. Scary when I look at the income needed, but he also makes you think. If not now, when?

Now I don't plan to quit my job in the next year, but he makes me think. And so now I have four things that I am going to work toward. A couple don't cost any money at all. Some costs money. But again - if not now, when?

So by the time you read this, I'll be setting money aside for a flat panel TV, working on getting two more short stories ready to submit to an e-publisher, setting money aside for an RV vacation (or possible full time or part time lifestyle) and making reservations at a fancy downtown restaurant for me and my husband for our *new* wedding anniversary.

Here's to experiencing life.

Gratitude changes attitude

I remember this very, very well. It was a Thursday night and I'd had a pretty bad day at work. How bad can a day go when you've only had a job for about three weeks? It was pretty bad. I was stressed, I hated that I had to go back the next day. I was alone in my house having a pity party.

That was the day I decided I wanted to read The Secret and see if I could find the DVD on Netflix to rent. I'd finished Think and Grow Rich and another positive thinking book. I was thrilled to find that The Secret movie was streaming on Netflix. So I made supper and sat down to watch while folding laundry.

The movie blew me away, seriously. I started taking notes. Then it got to the part about gratitude. How we needed to have gratitude in our lives, how we needed to be thankful for everything in our lives. And that was a major wake up call to me. I realized the language I'd already started using - Thank God tomorrow is Friday. I wish I didn't have to go back to work. I can't wait for the weekend. All of the negative language was there and it wasn't making my job very pleasant. And I realized - it's not work. It's not the job. It's not the people or the duties. It's me.

So I remembered what it felt like the day I got the job offer. I remembered the feelings I had, happy, excited, scared. I remembered doing the paperwork and I remembered my first day at the office. I thought about how quickly the day went by, how much I had learned. I thought about the money I was being paid, which was more than what I had asked for when I'd prayed about a full time job. And I immediately prayed for forgiveness.

I took a piece of paper and started making a list of everything I was grateful for. My family, my job, my health, a running car, a roof over my head, food to eat, money to pay the bills. Everything I could think of. And I could feel the stress from the day fade away.

When I went in to work the next day, I greeted my supervisor with a "Good morning," grabbed my coffee and got to work. I could feel the shift in energy there. And it was a good day.

Every time I get upset about work now I remember that feeling. While this job is not my end all - be all, something I've always wanted to do, I am thankful to have it. I look at that gratitude list and I remember all the things I do have in my life and how wonderful they all are. I watch my language as well. No more thank God it's Friday or Oh, God it's Monday. Remember that your words are powerful.

So the next time you're in a funk, check your gratitude. Make a list of all the things you're thankful for. And let gratitude shift your attitude.

Pray Rain Journal, LOA in dealing with others

It's hard to deal with other people, especially family. It's especially difficult when you're trying to be positive, let go of the past, forgive yourself and other people and others just won't seem to let you do that. I know that I can only control myself. I know that other people are setting up their own vibration, their own mindset. If they want to be negative, if they want to hold on to the past, then I understand that is them. But when it's your son, a person you love with all your heart, it's hard to find peace and understanding.

I have made mistakes as a mother. Every parent feels that way at some point in their life. But all I can do is say I'm sorry. I'm sorry, and I am letting it go.

In reading early posts from Good Vibe Blog - I'm in summer 2007 now - it was said to write down a limiting belief. Then write three reasons why it's not true. Since I'd fought with my son the night before, my belief was this:

I'm a bad mother.

But it's not true because:

I love my son.
I have done my best to care for him and provide for him.
I have always encouraged him and said I loved him.

I understand he's going through a hard time right now. I understand he has his own healing to do from our divorce and reconciliation, dealing with his own desires and dreams. But while understanding that I also need respect from him. So that is what I want from this - respect.

So, also based on Good Vibe Blog, I am going to do a few things differently. First, I am going to forgive myself yet again. I am a good mother who loves her son.

Next, I am in the process of writing a pray rain journal about the situation. Jeannette of Good Vibe Blog has written a book about it, you can get it here.

A pray rain journal is just a small journal that you write in once a day about a particular situation. I'm keeping one for work and one for my son. Every day, I'm writing a page and talking about my son as if what I desire has already happened. I'm writing about him showing respect, helping around the house, taking responsibility, being a happy young man again. By the end of the journal you are supposed to see a change in your circumstances and what you want is supposed to have happened or is very close to happening.

And finally my husband and I are going to script our talking about our son. Instead of venting to each other, for the next month we are only going to be speaking postives, talking about the behavior we want to see as if it's already happened.

I am trusting God that he will help us deal constructively with the problem and that he will intervene in whatever way is needed for our son to begin his own healing process. And I pray this will bring us closer as a family.