What Will I Believe?

I have lipedema.

I have a rare adipose disorder. This is a fat disorder that is genetic, affects women, has no cure, and many doctors aren't aware of it. It's typically misdiagnosed as lymphodema, which is what I believe my endocrinologist did. But I do believe I have lymphodema in addition to lipedema as one typically leads to the other. Other doctors just keep saying, "You're fat" and want you to diet and exercise and don't believe there could be another reason for large legs.

In a way this is a good thing and a bad thing. It's a good thing because I have a name for what is wrong with me. I am not just "fat". There is treatment available.

The bad part is that there is no cure. It's been undiagnosed since I was a teenager. Treatment may not be covered by health insurance. Many doctors are unaware of this disease - and it is a disease. I will never have model skinny legs.

Or will I?

Will I believe a diagnosis with no hope of recovery or will I accept a future where I will eventually need a wheelchair or hovearound to get around?

Will I give up my desire to be able to wear normal clothes, like skirts and boots and shorts and capri pants?

At this moment I don't know.