Monday, April 30, 2012
I was immediately drawn into the stories, drawn into the concepts. It resonated with me so strongly. And when it got to the point where they discussed being thankful for what you already had, that hit me right in the heart and the head. I paused the movie and wrote out this list:
I am thankful for my job.
I am thankful for my car.
I am thankful for the house I rent.
I am thankful for my son and (formerly ex) husband.
I am thankful for a supportive mom.
I am thankful for the luxuries I do have - computer, Internet, smart phone.
I am thankful that I am healthy.
I am thankful for supportive friends.
I am thankful for the church and its members.
I am thankful for my pets.
I am thankful that I have food to eat.
I am thankful that I have clothes to wear.
I am thankful to be alive another day.
What are you thankful for?
Friday, April 27, 2012
Use them. Use your emotions. They are part of being human after all. Here are the steps I take to help get through a bad mood and get to the other side.
Name It and Claim It
The best way I've found to get out of a funk about something is to name it and claim it. Get it out there. Accept that you feel angry or frustrated or mad. And don't sugar coat it. Don't say you're "upset" when you're really mad-as-hell furious. Yell it out if you have to. But use those feelings and get to the other side of your bad mood. Use those feelings for positive change.
So name your feelings, out loud. "I am angry. I am frustrated. I am tired of feeling used. I am worn out. I am furious."
Say what you're angry or upset about. Be specific. Say it out loud. "I am tired of doing something and having it never be right. I am tired of not being listened to. I am tired of doing one thing and then having the rules changed on me."
Feel Your Feelings
Take a deep breath and really FEEL your feelings. Allow them to be there and allow yourself to feel them. There is nothing wrong with feeling what you feel. You DO NOT ever have to justify your feelings. You feel how you feel, period.
Determine What You Do Want, Not What You Don't Want
After a few deep breaths, think about what you DO want. You've spelled out what you don't want. You've named your feelings. Now, tell GUS (God, Universe, Spirit) what you do want. "I want to be listened to. I want to be taken seriously. I want to be appreciated. I believe I am doing my best."
Affirmations / Intentions
Say an affirmation - what do you want to actually happen. Because it can and it will. "I want Jack and Jill to listen to me, take my words seriously, and have a conversation where all sides are heard and respected." Finish by taking a few more deep breaths.
Repeat as Needed
Repeat throughout the day, as much as you need to. But if you really want to end your bad mood, your funk, you can't keep repeating it to yourself, your significant other, your best friend or your coworkers. You need to release it. Say your affirmations, breath deep, and release it.
Time Your Complaints
If you MUST let it out, then complain for 15 minutes only. You can do this for yourself or with a person that is compassionate and supportive. But stop at 15 minutes. And don't bring it up again. Doing that will only bring the bad feelings up again and you'll be right back in your mood.
Take Inspired Action
Now you can use that mood for some inspired action. Don't be an idiot, though, and quit your job, cheat on a spouse, file for divorce or yell at your kids. You want to do something positive with that energy, such as:
Fill out a job application somewhere else.
Write the outline to the novel you've always wanted to write.
Write out an email to the person you're mad at and then delete it - or send it to yourself and then delete it.
Go out to dinner.
Real Life - Determining What I Wanted and Inspired Action
Here is a real life example of using emotion to get something better.
Several years ago I took a job as a dishwasher. I did not like the job but it was a job and I needed the money. One day the general manager of the restaurant / club came through and said I was doing a good job, I could be promoted to cook. If that was a promotion, I thought, I don't want it. So that very day I went to the employment office next door - while still in my wet, smelly uniform - and applied for a job at the library down the street.
I got the job.
Moral of the Story
Use your emotions to determine what you really want. Don't hide from them.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
They didn't offer a discount except for the in-person training they offered. The bonus was something else. But I still enjoyed the webinar and I told my husband, "I was hoping they were going to offer $100 off the course. Wouldn't that have been wonderful?"
He agreed, since we had saved up just short of $100 for the course and had to wait till his next payday when an error in his vacation pay would be included.
Yesterday I got an email about another webinar and their spring discount on the course - $100 off, just in time for payday when we were going to pay for the course anyway at the regular price.
Thank you for the discount. We appreciate it very much.
Saturday, April 21, 2012
One of the things on my white board is for my husband to get a job in the state where we live. We live near a state border and he's been driving an hour to work and back sometimes six days a week. He finally got a job literally five minutes down the road.
The job is in this state. The pay rate is what we asked for. The shift is what we asked for. But we didn't say full-time. And this job is part-time. And it will cut our income, although we won't be paying $400 a month in gas for work anymore.
So I'm trying to look on the good side of all of this. It's technically what we asked for, it will give him time to do what he needs to do to prepare for his coaching career, it will help him relax a bit as well since he's been the one working so much over the past few years, and I truly believe it's the next step on this journey we are creating for ourselves.
But I'm finding it hard to relax and not worry a little bit about the money situation. But even this past week when his check was short due to two days out sick we have been fine. Bills are all paid. We have food to eat. It's all working out. And I remember the money affirmation:
All money put into circulation returns to us tenfold.
Yep, it's happening. We still have money. It goes out, it comes in. When we need it, extra work comes in or something is cheaper than expected.
I also realize this is a time of contrast for the both of us. This leap into something new is going to help us stretch and grow and mold us into who we want to be. So I'm looking forward to that experience because I do want to learn and grow and stretch into something more.
What has caused you to stretch and grow lately?
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Since learning about the Law of Attraction I try to into each day looking at what I can control, what I can make of it. I already talked about how I prepave my day. I ask for it to be a good day. I ask for time to pass quickly. I ask for projects to come my way. I don't necessarily ask for conflict, but without conflict how will I learn? How will my supervisor and co-workers learn?
So since I knew this was coming since Friday, I prepaved for it. If my supervisor's questions had come at me from out of the blue, I would have done things differently. But I'd had some heads-up that she wanted to know how things were going with me - I've been at this job a year next week - and wanted to go over some things were some tasks were falling short.
While the old me would be looking at this as conflict and criticism and would be hurt by it, the new me is very calm about the whole thing. It's like I'm looking at myself from a distance. I'm keeping the entire issue at a distance. It's nothing about me personally. It doesn't mean that I don't do a good job. It does mean that there are some skills lacking, maybe some communication issues between us, but that can be fixed. Skills can be learned, communication can be better.
So I am setting an intention for this process as well as continuing to look at it from a distance. And I'm asking myself, "What can I learn from this process? How did I manifest this issue? -- Because if I take 100 percent responsibility, then I did. If anything, I co-created it. What do I want to take away from this issue?"
My intention is:
I intend that both J and I will learn from this issue and it will help us to work better together for the good of the company and the people we serve.
I'll check back as things progress and report on how I'm answering the other questions. And I'll look back on this as well as time passes and look in hindsight, as we all do, at the lessons learned at this point in time.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
So what did I do today after my doctor's appointment for fasting blood work? I head to McDonald's. And the nice lady asks if I want the fruit and maple oatmeal. And I think, I really should. I mean I said I wanted to be healthy. But what did I actually do? I ordered the bacon, egg and cheese biscuit combo - but with a diet drink.
I picked up my order, paying almost $5 for the fat & carb filled goodness and headed to work.
I opened my bag and found ---
fruit and maple oatmeal.
Okay. You win.
But I need my $4.77 back. Or at least the difference in what I would have paid had I actually ordered the oatmeal instead.
Thanks a bunch.