Sunday, November 6, 2011

Change your story

Everyone has a story. Usually it's about something that happened to you. You're the victim in the story. Someone did you wrong. Someone lied. Someone cheated you. Someone hurt you.

How many times have you told that story? Why do you want to share it? What are you getting out of it? There is always a personal reason that people tell a story. You may want sympathy or understanding. It may be the "one up" game. A friend tells you their story and you feel you have to top it. It goes like this:

"And that's what happened and I hate X and Y!"
"Well, that's nothing. This is what happened to me."

If you want to change your life and your attitudes, you have to change your story.

Refuse to tell it anymore. It's no longer a part of you. It's not going to define you anymore. You will no longer be a victim. Life will not happen TO you because you are going to make different things happen from now on.

A hard thing to accept is that what happens in life has been brought on by us. Our actions, our decisions, our attitudes -- all of that has brought you to the life you currently live. And that is hard to accept. But in accepting it, you can forgive yourself and come to love yourself again. It is very hard to actually forgive ourselves and love ourselves. It's actually easier to love another person and forgive another person than to do the same for ourselves.

That is why the backstory on this blog will be the ONLY time I'll be telling that story. Because that is not my story anymore. I am not a victim. I participate in my life. I create my life. No one does anything TO me. I attract people into my life that I want to be there. People to teach me something. People to care about me and for me to care about. You can do the same.

So stop telling your story. Don't even tell stories about bad customer service or travel delays or any other problem in your life. Don't give it energy. For example, if you have bad service at a restaurant and you tell your friends, your family, you post it on Facebook and Twitter and you keep bringing it up over and over again then you're not going to ever get good service at a restaurant. Stop the story. Change the energy.

Refuse to label yourself. Tell a new story. Talk about the great things in your life. Change your attitude to one of gratitude. As you tell a new story about the wonderful things in your life you will find that things will change. Good things will happen. By doing these things, you will find that no one will even bring up your past story because you will be a different person.

I am a valuable, worthwhile, and special person.
I deserve to be loved and valued.
I attract positive, happy, energetic people to surround me.
I am thankful for my life, my job, my family, my pets -- continue as needed.

Now start living your new story. 

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