Friday, April 5, 2013

I Abdicate Responsibility for Others' Lives

I was feeling frustrated yesterday evening. I got home from work, talking under my breath about my husband who wants to start a new business but isn't doing the work to move forward. My son who says he wants to join the military but isn't studying for the ASVAB like the recruiter said to do. I was feeling so much responsiblity to push them, to make them move, make them take a step forward. After all, I'm their support system, right? Isn't that my job as a wife and a mother?

Suddenly I found myself in the middle of the kitchen, supper simmering on the stove behind me, and I yelled out - I give up all responsiblity for others' lives! Do you hear me? I abdicate all responsibility. It's up to them to do the work, it's up to them to live their lives and make their choices. There's nothing I can help them with at this point. They have to take the next step themselves and I abdicate responsiblity!

I felt so much better after this outburst. I have no idea where it came from or what led me to do it. I just knew it felt right and I finished making supper and spent the rest of my evening working on MY work instead of trying to do their work.

Who are you trying to "make" move in a certain direction? Let it go, abdicate responsibility, let them work it out, and go about your day.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Abundance Surrounds Us

I've been reading a book called The Wealth Diet by Kathy Zant, and going through the exercises. I've also been reading a book about simple living, and going through those exercises. You wouldn't think these two books would have anything in common, but the exercises are similar in each book. I'm thinking about simplicity and abundance in so many different ways, and it hit me the other day how abundance surrounds us.

When we think about abundance, we typically think money. We need more money, we want more money. But abundance is in everything - our home, our family, our joys, our passions. We can be abundant in talent and gifts, happiness and joy.

I had read a section in The Wealth Diet where Kathy mentioned people walking over money found in the street. How many times have you done that? How many times have you passed over a quarter or a dime or even a penny? I found $10 once at a park in the parking lot. We found money on the sidewalk at the mall. On this particular day, I needed a dime so I could have enough money for the vending machine. I started digging through my purse and found three dimes. The next day my husband had mentioned we needed a new mop head. That night, he told me he'd gotten three at work. They were being tossed out during a renovation of the store where he works. And it hit me - this is abundance.

Abundance is God providing all we need and more. I needed a dime - he provided three. We needed a mop head - he provided three. My husband also received a wall locker that he's using to store books and games in in our family room. This is abundance, and if we keep our eyes open we can see it surrounding us.

How have you experienced abundance in your life, no matter how small it may seem?

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Q & A From Beer With Jesus by Thomas Rhett

I heard this song on the way home from work tonight and thought it was a nice thought, being able to sit down with Jesus, have a beer (or unsweet tea) chat for a while. Then I realized - we CAN do that, anytime we want, and then I realized the questions asked in the song were already answered in His Word.

I'll post the video later, but here are the lyrics, as sung by Thomas Rhett and written by Thomas Rhett, Lance Miller and Rick Huckaby.

If I could have a beer with Jesus
Heaven knows I’d sip it nice and slow
I’d try to pick a place that ain’t too crowded
Or gladly go wherever he wants to go

You can bet I’d order up a couple tall ones
Tell the waitress put ‘em on my tab
I’d be sure to let him do the talkin’
Careful when I got the chance to ask

How’d you turn the other cheek
To save a sorry soul like me
Do you hear the prayers I send
What happens when life ends
And when you think you’re comin’ back again

I’d tell everyone, but no one would believe it
If I could have a beer with Jesus

If I could have a beer with Jesus
I’d put my whole paycheck in that jukebox
Fill it up with nothing but the good stuff
Sit somewhere we couldn’t see a clock

Ask him how’d you turn the other cheek
To save a sorry soul like me
Have you been there from the start
How’d you change a sinner’s heart
And is heaven really just beyond the stars

I’d tell everyone, but no one would believe it
If I could have a beer with Jesus

He can probably only stay, for just a couple rounds
But I hope and pray he’s stayin’ till we shut the whole place down

Ask him how’d you turn the other cheek
To save a sorry soul like me
What’s on the other side?
Is mom and daddy alright?
And if it ain’t no trouble tell them I said hi

I’d tell everyone but no one would believe it
If I could have a beer with Jesus

I’d tell everyone but no one would believe it
If I could have a beer with Jesus

Here are the answers to the questions:

How’d you turn the other cheek; To save a sorry soul like me

John 3:16 - 17 "For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. 17 God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him."

Do you hear the prayers I send

Gen 25:21 ..."The LORD answered Isaac’s prayer"

Gen 30:17 ..."And God answered Leah’s prayers"

Gen 35:3 ..."I will build an altar to the God who answered my prayers..."

1 Kings 9:3 ..."The LORD said to him, “I have heard your prayer and your petition..."

What happens when life ends

John 5:24 “I tell you the truth, those who listen to my message and believe in God who sent me have eternal life."

2 Cor 5:8 " be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord."

And when you think you’re comin’ back again

Matthew 24:36 “However, no one knows the day or hour when these things will happen, not even the angels in heaven or the Son himself.[a] Only the Father knows.

I’d tell everyone, but no one would believe it

Matthew 13:57 And they were deeply offended and refused to believe in him. Then Jesus told them, “A prophet is honored everywhere except in his own hometown and among his own family.”

Matthew 13:13 That is why I use these parables, For they look, but they don’t really see. They hear, but they don’t really listen or understand.

Have you been there from the start

Gen 1:1 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.

John 1:1 In the beginning the Word already existed. The Word was with God, and the Word was God.

How’d you change a sinner’s heart

2 Cor 5:17 This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!

Romans 12:2 Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

And is heaven really just beyond the stars

2 Cor 12:4 I was caught up[a] to the third heaven and heard things so astounding that they cannot be expressed in words, things no human is allowed to tell.

What’s on the other side?

Deut 26:15 ...Now look down from your holy dwelling place in heaven

John 14:2 There is more than enough room in my Father’s home.[a] If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you?

Is mama and daddy alright?

Rev 14:13 And I heard a voice from heaven saying, “Write this down: Blessed are those who die in the Lord from now on. Yes, says the Spirit, they are blessed indeed, for they will rest from their hard work; for their good deeds follow them!”

What would you talk to Jesus about? The answers are already here, waiting to be discovered and understood.

Saturday, September 8, 2012

Allowing Myself to be Me, Loving Myself Unconditionally

I'm going to be honest. I haven't dealt with my diagnosis well. I've cried about this, prayed with my husband over this. I cried about the loss of hope I felt in the belief that if I was really, really good with diet / exercise and reached my goal weight that MAYBE I would have great looking legs. I'd be able to wear boots and skirts and cute clothes and not be hot in the summer because I'm in jeans when everyone else is in shorts and capris. But today I'm angry. I'm fed up. And I'm free of the hate. My legs are my legs. I'm going to do my part to keep losing weight, but the hate for my legs, the envy I've had of other women who don't have this issue, the embarrassment I've felt over my legs, that's done. I refuse to believe that there isn't a cure for this. I wanted answers -- I got answers. But I don't have to believe the research that's available. There's actually very little research out there, since U.S. doctors have very little data on lipedema. So why should I believe there's no cure, or that I'm going to end up with little mobility as I age? I'm not going to believe it, because my body knows how to cure itself. My body was made perfectly, and it knows what to do. And I don't give a crap what anyone says or thinks about my legs anymore. Now, I'm not an idiot. I'm not going to buy short shorts and flaunt everything. But from this point forward I am going to be comfortable. I'm going to buy some wide legged capris, maybe even splurge on some linen slacks, buy some cute sandals, give myself a pedicure, and I'm going to be comfortable, dang it! I'm going to love my legs. I'm going to pamper them, use my good smelling lotion from Victoria's Secret, keep them shaved and smooth (yes, even in winter, ladies!) give myself a pedicure and paint my nails, use my good body wash. I'm going to love these legs and ask them to forgive me for the 20 years of hate I've felt for them. At this moment in time, I have my health. I have mobility. I am able to exercise, to walk, to run (a little, at least) and go and do and enjoy life. So I'm going to appreciate these legs for as long as they can hold me up. If I truly believe what I've said in the past about taking 100 percent responsibility for my life -- good and bad -- then that means that I have to take 100 percent responsibility for this body. My responsibility for this body is to care for it, love it unconditionally, even though it's only a temporary shell. I CHOSE this body, so I am choosing to care for this body from this moment forward. The Bible says my body is a temple, and I am going to treat it as such. Because I am beautiful, dang it, and I deserve to be healthy and well and whole -- legs and all.

Saturday, September 1, 2012

You are So Beautiful

My husband and I left the pharmacy after picking up my medication,trying to deal with my diagnosis and what may / may not happen in the future. Just as we were leaving the store, this song began to play:

I couldn't keep it in any longer. By the time we reached his truck, I was in tears.

God is good. God is good all the time.

Saturday, August 25, 2012

What Will I Believe?

I have lipedema.

I have a rare adipose disorder. This is a fat disorder that is genetic, affects women, has no cure, and many doctors aren't aware of it. It's typically misdiagnosed as lymphodema, which is what I believe my endocrinologist did. But I do believe I have lymphodema in addition to lipedema as one typically leads to the other. Other doctors just keep saying, "You're fat" and want you to diet and exercise and don't believe there could be another reason for large legs.

In a way this is a good thing and a bad thing. It's a good thing because I have a name for what is wrong with me. I am not just "fat". There is treatment available.

The bad part is that there is no cure. It's been undiagnosed since I was a teenager. Treatment may not be covered by health insurance. Many doctors are unaware of this disease - and it is a disease. I will never have model skinny legs.

Or will I?

Will I believe a diagnosis with no hope of recovery or will I accept a future where I will eventually need a wheelchair or hovearound to get around?

Will I give up my desire to be able to wear normal clothes, like skirts and boots and shorts and capri pants?

At this moment I don't know.

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Our World is Natural and Spritual

Photo from

Once a upon a time, there was a man and a woman who lived in a beautiful garden. They had everything they wanted -- food, companionship, purpose.

There were two trees in the garden. One was called the Tree of Life, one was called the Tree of the knowledge of Good and Evil. Their father told them to only eat of the Tree of Life. In that way, they could stay in the garden, they could stay connected to Him.

This couple saw their garden in a unique way. They also saw their Father in a unique way. They walked with Him in their garden. They spoke with him and knew He answered them. They not only saw trees and flowers and grass in the garden. They saw Life.

Not an apple or a pear or an orange. They saw Life on the tree, and they were able eat it and touch it and be part of it.

Adam and Eve saw our world in both a physical and a spiritual way. We know what a tree looks like. We have them in our yards, our parks, our streets. But do we know what Life looks like?

When Moses saw the burning bush he saw what seemed to be fire, but it didn't act like fire. He called it fire because it was the only thing he knew to call it since he had only known the physical world.

What Adam and Eve could see, what Moses saw, was the spiritual part of our world. They saw into the Kingdom of God. Adam and Eve walked in God's kingdom. How shocked they must have been when they ate from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil and the world they'd known disappeared, when they could no longer see the spiritual world they'd come to know?

God's Kingdom is all around us. It's here, now. If all we're doing while here on earth is complaining about our struggles, waiting for the sweet by-and-by, then what is the point? God gave us Life for a reason. We have everything we need within us, right here, right now. As we go through Life we grow and mature and we're able to connect to the power that we forgot we had.

Open your eyes. See your world the way Adam and Eve saw Life on a tree, the way Moses saw fire that didn't burn, the way John the Baptist saw the Holy Spirit as a dove, the way the Apostles saw the Holy Spirit as tongues of fire, the way Jesus saw the sick healed.

You are more than you think you are.